So, my dad once told me about all the things that he thought could really (f*ck) with your life – the Big 4 so he said. To him, these puzzling life factors are your relationship, where you live, your job, and your finances.
I completely agree with my wise father (which is totally unfair as I’m a daddy’s girl), except for I expanded this list to the Magnificent 7. I think the things that will mess with your sanity the most are 1. Relationship 2. Where you live (country / city) 3. Housing (what you actually live in / if you rent or buy) 4. Job 5. Finances 6. Friends 7. Family. This isn’t necessarily in rank order, that my friend is entirely up to you.
So most people might go through changes to any 1-3 of these life-altering issues at a time. If your relationship ends you may find yourself moving or in a different financial state. (But, for some that’s not always a bad thing). Others may only find themselves changing jobs, or losing a friend, and a few may even see a lay-off or moving home lead to financial hardship and eventually relationship problems.
Well, what happens when you tackle them all at once? Are you heading headfirst into a runaway train, or are you setting a course for adventure? I want to say that in early days and even now I believe the latter, however throughout the year there have been times I feared the first. Or maybe it’s not about doing good or bad, but where you are at different times. Maybe there are no rules on what you should feel when and when you should feel what.
But, what do you do when you move to a new country, a new city, start a new job, need to find your own place, are financially impaired, need to make new (or reconnect with old) friends, don’t live near your family, and have to get used to being without the person you were closest to? Well, I guess you start a blog.
…or yoga…or tai chi…or buy a guitar…or start painting. You know, whatever random not-at-all-grounded-in-reality activity floats your boat.
Only recently I realized how much happened at once and how I’m damn lucky I am not standing in a Wal-mart with hostages at gunpoint…but, I’m also lucky enough to have people who haven’t yet pulled gunpoint on me. However, I try to remember what I tell everybody else who I’ve ever shouldered along the way…it will take time, clichés are clichés for a reason, and one day you will wake up and forget to be sad.
Ron Livingston as Rob in the classic movie Swingers says, “Sometimes it still hurts. You know how it is, man. It’s like, you wake up every day and it hurts a little bit less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn’t hurt at all. And the funny thing is, this is kinda weird, but it’s like, it’s like you almost miss that pain.”
I’m working on it. I stay busy, I’m ticking off my someday list, and I try not to let nasty thoughts get me down. But regret and doubt sneak in from time to time, my someday list gets short, and there are moments when I just need a big old hug. For anybody out there who deep down knows things happen for a reason, yet in fleeting moments can’t remember what that reason was…I feel for you, I really do. My advice, even if I suck at listening to it, is hold your head high, remind yourself why you chose this and how hard you knew it might be, and remember that everything will change. It probably already has.
The Ginga Ninja