Tag Archives: SAD

It’s good to be bad

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There are times I think about writing. And I don’t just mean the concept of what is writing, I mean…sitting down and actually writing. Unfortunately, usually early in the morning or late, late at night (which is still technically early in the morning) are those times. And well, full-time jobs and sleep requirements and all that jazz prevent me from getting up and writing in the moment I have ideas, probably good ideas. Not like now.

So, sometimes I don’t write. And I don’t really know why. I don’t think it’s that I have writer’s block per say; it’s not as though I sit down and nothing comes out. Just lately, I don’t sit down. I just don’t sit down to do it and odder still, I don’t feel a void when I don’t.

Sadly, the moments I write the most, are when I’m the most sad. Sadness, confusion, introspection, jealousy, uncertainty…these are the things that drive those words. And art. And literature. And entertainment. And almost anything good or meaningful that ever came out of this life.

If you look back in time, many of the most talented, creative, artistic sons o’bitches out there were riddled with issues. Depression, anxiety and straight-up being stuck in those heads tends to be what leads to the best art. And that in itself is terrible. The people who make our joy seldom experience it. The everyday people, maybe those are the people living life, but not driving it forward. The socially awkward, societally-shunned geniuses and the drug-raddled, insomniatic depressives are the ones that add the je ne sais quoi to our world. And what they provide is what makes everybody else’s life better, but not necessarily their own.

This is a conversation that has come up a lot lately. As my creative friend risked it all to start a new business, and yet another artistic mastermind took their own life, and well, I just creep other people’s perfect profiles with envy like a modern day peeping tom….Often the best results in our life are driven by the worst times. And the best times result in the worst outputs.

So, though this may not be the best thing I’ve ever written, maybe that’s good. Maybe it’s good to be good, and great to be great, but state of mind and quality of work may not always be one in the same. So maybe sometimes it’s good to be bad and bad to be good.

Some people are born mediocre ,some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.  –  Joseph Heller

That’s Why They Call it the Blues…The Winter Blues

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winter-bluesI’ve been extremely, overwhelmingly sick in my (well we’ll call it short) lifetime. Sometimes more than others and probably for different reasons. At the end of the day, normally I end up fatigued in the winter, get a respiratory infection, land myself on antibiotics and eventually get really ill with stomach problems and bacterial overgrowth. But, even hospital-inducing illness aside, the one thing I’ve always been known to struggle with is SAD. No, not just a big old frown on my face, but Seasonal Affective Disorder (otherwise funnily enough known as SAD, which is exactly what it makes you).

In changing a fair bit of my lifestyle and diet, I was able to somewhat escape it. Heaven forbid I live like a normal sucker and just get the winter blues instead of sweating, fainting and illness. This year however, well a flu led to a cold, let to lethargy…led to…and that’s where it ends goddammit. We’ll call mine, the Winter Reds.

It’s a cold, dark winter and I’m in the heart of the most depressing month. But, I’m doing my best to stay above water. Stay positive, accept that a basic “not giving a crap” attitude may come out of this and I will probably survive. Probably. Maybe with too many headaches, cramping muscles and bad moods, but probably still at least a step away from death’s door.

Well, I’m not alone in this battle. Cold cultures have a higher rate of suicide and divorce in January. People struggle with lethargy, lack of motivation, fatigue and a general depressing state in colder months. It’s why vacation hot spots peak and prices skyrocket. It’s why cold month babies are created and love handles exist. The winter months have our basic instinct bodies reverting to a sense of hibernation. Deep down, all we need is to stay warm, feed and save our energy. If we don’t, we just may not make it through alive.

So, this year I’m celebrating my SAD. That’s right, I said it, I’m HAPPY to celebrate my SAD.

A sad soul can kill quicker than a germ. – John Steinbeck

The Ginga Ninja

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