Tag Archives: quotes

I’m Just Trying to Hang Up My Coat

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Everyone has their own song to sing, own bell to ring and own dragon to slay.  How big or bad your challenges are can be impacted by many things and a challenge is a challenge, whether it is big or small.    images

For many, their battles are difficult – finding a new job, going back to school, raising children, losing weight, learning to accept or learning to forgive. Nobody knows what somebody else is going through and nobody knows how big and bad your demons are.

Well, sometimes life, and change are not about the big things.  Sometimes you can be happy with all the big things and realize that all you can work on day in, day out are the small ones.  So, for anybody that doesn’t have a life-changing goal in mind, remember that a day-changing one is good too.  For me, I’m focusing on my bad habits and the little things that will make my organized chaos a little more organized.  As a friend put it, I’m not trying to lose weight, re-direct my career, or gain a diploma…I’m just trying to hang up my coat”.  A lot can be said for that one little statement and what it means in regards to life.

With age comes wisdom and with time comes less opportunities to change your world.  Small steps are still steps and if you think about it carefully, you can get a lot more small steps into a lifetime than you can big ones.

There’s going to be a time when you don’t want people to know how old you are.  Because you will realize that you haven’t accomplished any of your goals. – George, Go On

The Ginga Ninja

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Sorry, What Day did You Say it Was?

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So this year I didn’t write a Valentine’s Day post.  Not because I’m bitter, not because I actually have a Valentine, but because I’m kind of…well, nothing over it.

As it turns out this past year things have been up and down…because, well, that is life.  I had a brief international fling, a ridiculously busy Christmas and a fairly relaxed January.  Since glowing about how much I love unemployment, I have now found myself fully employed again and am running myself ragged to maintain all that I’ve taken on.  Funny how that works, but finances run the world (even though Beyonce may have referenced ‘girls’) and time is once again at a premium.

Either way, I’m pretty okay with or without a Valentine.  Two years ago I was just learning to be independent, last year I was knee deep in health scares and this year, well, I barely noticed it even came.  I didn’t see many store fronts, am now chocolate-free, I’m happy for my taken friends and very few of my single ones are bitter or planning sad nights in. Single or taken, busy or relaxed, male or female, rich or poor…Valentine’s Day comes and goes and so we close the door on Valentines 2014.

But….I really do love those old vintage cards…and I really love this  post by a fellow blogger.  We are the same age, have the same poor spacial awareness and funnily enough sometimes pick the same titles for our blogs.  www.jentalkstoomuch.com/2011/02/happy-valentines-day-to-me

I think not just this year, but every year, you should feel this way.  Happy Valentines to you, your family, your friends, your pets and most importantly, YOU!

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.                                                                                                – Lucille Ball

The Ginga Ninja

He Got on the Plane

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say-anything-john-cusackWhatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I want to ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. – Olive Penderghast, Easy A.

And isn’t it too bad that he didn’t?  I wish that movie love scenes were real and that boys really did do these things.  I also really wish my life was set to a soundtrack or had a really awesome choreographed dance scene.  Music makes everything better.  I mean, it can also make things sadder and nobody wants that, but it makes the good moments a little more good and the memorable ones a lot more memorable.  But, back to the point, where is the romance?

Is romance the little gestures or the big ones?

Do you think planning 25 gifts for a 25th birthday, or just simply getting somebody a coffee when they are tired the real gesture?  Is looking at somebody with love in your eyes worth more than a fist-fight in the street?  Is having the decency to text someone back more meaningful than a cross-continent flight?  Is remembering your fourth anniversary better than a private jet to Paris?  You tell me.  Don’t get me wrong, nobody I have ever dated could afford a private jet to Paris, but is love in the big things or the little ones?

I know that I have tried in my own guarded way to show love.  Through thoughtful gifts, gestures, words, personalized breakfasts and daily hugs I have tried my best.  I may not always be perfect, but goddammit, I have tried.  And so have a few others along the way, even jaded old me can admit that.

I once dated a boy who lit a hallway with candles and scattered rose petals to my bed.  I was hand-delivered the ultimate girl-romance moment (cue the song “Kiss Me” now), but I was only 22.  The whole thing seemed a little overdone and awkward if I’m honest.  I have also had the long-awaited regret email, love poetry sent by letter and most shockingly, the vacation fling turned real.  And recently?  I had a young man continually try to put his arm around me 50’s style while walking along a boardwalk…he took deep, satisfying sighs and stared dreamily up into the moonlight.  You know what?  The whole thing was annoying…and FAKE.

But, love, real love should be making a sacrifice, no matter how small.  For years I begged a partner to turn to me and look at me as he sang the Proclaimers 6 simple words “…And I would walk 500 miles…” and he never would…in all our years together he never would.  That small, miniscule act would have meant the John-Hughes-chivalry-loving moments of 80’s movies could come true more than any over-the-top widely inappropriate gesture ever would.

In today’s day and age a text is not enough.  An e-birthday card, a facebook profile pic, a comment on a status update…these things are not romance.  Romance is waiting on somebody’s porch for them to come home – not texting them at 3 am.  Romance is telling somebody they look stunning, not sending a booty call message spelling “come” with only 3 letters and a “u”.  Romance is buying every single lemon baked good you find because it’s somebody’s favourite, not adding them to your circles on Google+.

But, like in the movies, (even the highly realistic ones that know life is not a musical and romance is not a John Hughes movie)….it comes now and again.  You still hear about beautiful proposal stories, men giving up gluten for their intolerant wives and ladies moving across the world to be with their man.  Just the other day a male friend of mine admitted that once he ordered flowers from his florist girlfriend under a false name and showed up to give them to her in person.  Oh, and a tiny sidenote, she lived in another country.  He made me smirk, but he proved chivalry is in fact not dead.  Now, I just need to work on getting him to follow me around with a boombox and start flash mobs often…totally not kidding.

At least that girl got what most of us movie-loving wannabes can only dream about.  But, let’s just say it does give me a reason to still dream.  I don’t expect my life or my love to be perfect.  I don’t expect in today’s busy day and age that I will be on somebody’s mind at all times, but at least a story or two (even sometimes my own) make me realize I can still dream for Prince Charming, even if he is only Charming for a Moment.

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The Ginga Ninja

If my feelings were Grapes, they’d probably make a good wine

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red grapesIs it okay to have a crush?  After a long and meaningful relationship or two, when is it okay to stop isolating, start looking and literally crush on somebody?  Crush like a kid, crush like you haven’t crushed in years. C’mon, even crushes can hurt – otherwise, why would they be called CRUSHES?

But, when do I start keeping an eye open just for me?  Not waiting to date because I’m scared, not rejecting everyone because I’m busy, not waiting because I have baggage, or am afraid of what others think, or don’t want to be like all those other people who just find the wrong “one” again, too soon.  That’s not to say it may not be the wrong one again either way, but when has enough time passed that I can have an honest to goodness crush?

Well, I don’t have that answer.  Three weeks probably isn’t long enough, but three years is far too long.  Either way, I’m intrigued by the intrigue that I feel and I think…so for now I’m not going to overthink it and just feel it.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other – Oscar Wilde

The Ginga Ninja

Please Tell Me the Meaning of Rollercoasters so I can figure out the Meaning of Life

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red rollercoasterHave you ever known that you wanted to cook, (or bake, or run, or talk, or write), or let’s say do…something, but you don’t really know what? You aren’t sure which activity to choose, or even when you do if it is the right source for your current motivation…but I guess, in all reality, it’s a place for your energies to go.

Well, I’m clearly in that mood. To be honest, gone are the days of diligently filling my journal and more often than not what it was filled with was nonsensical analysis and longing anyways, or in other words (ssshh), “my bad days”. I think often the only reason there was an entry at all was because in that moment I needed something to do and somewhere to put my mind. Busy hands, busy mind…busywork some would say?

Essentially, is our whole life busywork? This is a very warped and skewed view on this I realize, but really, truly, if we overthink it…what does all the good we do achieve? I mean, the Doctor, the Lawyer, and the Panhandler…they all end up in the same place, don’t they? Whether you raise 14 children, 14 cats, or 14 herb gardens (which by the way I won’t be doing as I just managed to successfully kill my dill in 1 week), at the very end…you end up the same. So, that brings me full circle to the meaning of life I suppose.

That’s a big one. A big one that I probably should not tackle. I guess the meaning of life can be different for different people, but it’s a question as old as time itself. If you are Catholic it means one thing (heaven…hell…purgatory), if you are a Buddhist it means another, and really I think how educated you are and what part of the world you are from can impact your meaning too. I mean, there are people out there fighting to stay alive against all odds, and yet in Western culture we take our own because we aren’t sure what to do with them.

So, what is the meaning of life? I can safely say that I know that I don’t know. I can make something up based on all the little “isms” I’ve heard over the years, and I truly wish that I could believe what I tell myself to believe at all times. My mom thinks it’s about using the talents you have and hoping that there really is something bigger than us at the end.

I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. – Abraham Lincoln

I can sum up to the best of MY abilities (and I only claimed President in elementary school), something a little like this: Live as much john lennon, the meaning of lifeas you can while you are here, laugh, cry, think, don’t think, be good to people, always try your hardest, don’t take things too seriously, take some things seriously, and hope that when your end comes you can look back and say “Life is complicated and I did my best”.

I am not sure a world without regret exists, because even if everything happens for a reason or you did what you thought was right at the time…circumstance changes and you change – so your view on how something played out over time will change too. And once upon a time I naively believed that if you lived your life the way you should – you would wake up one day just peachy keen. But, with age and experience I have realized that no matter the situation, that will change too. So, maybe we are human afterall and even if we are content one day, we may be sad the next…Maybe, just maybe, that is just the rollercoaster we call life.

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness is. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” – Albert Camus

The Ginga Ninja

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Super Bold?

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260417_Enlarged_1So, this weekend was the Super Bowl.  Normally this wouldn’t warrant its own post, nor would this post come so close to the last.  But, as per usual – I was faced with a bit of a pickly predicament.

To me, the Super Bowl is just a party.  I have three older brothers and over the years many male friends – so the Super Bowl is a mix of beer, commercials, and usually a food extravaganza.  This year I knew that I could force myself upon the same crew as last year, or go visit my brother who with a cold and bucket of chicken had every intention of parking his ass on his couch, but I decided…nah…this is the year I’ll actually be a girl and have no plans. There is no male figure forcing this upon me and I wouldn’t have to worry about navigating a Monday hangover. But, opportunity knocked and fortunately, (or unfortunately depending how you look at it), I answered.

Just recently I joined a gym.  An urban hipster gym that apparently also throws major events.  I decided to get my ass out of my loft and into the gym this afternoon.  However, when I arrived there were gourmet food trucks parked on this little street and heavenly smells wafting into the workout rooms.  One of the staff told me they were hosting a Super Bowl party and as a member my admission was free!  She encouraged me to “check it out” as she, other staff, and other new members (like me) were going to go down.

So, I did.  Wow.  I never expected it to be so big.  There were huge screens, couches, waitresses, music, and hoards and hoards of people.

I quickly felt incredibly out of place in gym clothes, no makeup, a sober state and every time I tried to sit at a table somebody pointed out how they were “saving that for a friend”.  That fear that everybody secretly harbours about walking into a place alone and being ostracized actually came true.  I ended up standing in a corner, nursing a beer and talking to the wait staff.red_racer_ipa

So, that begs the question – is putting yourself out there, or being open to new opportunities always the best advice?  I have girlfriends who can’t go to a convenience store alone, whereas other friends can easily go on vacations with only numero uno.  So, what would you do?  When faced with party, beer, and a free ticket in…would you “check it out” or would you take your sweat-pants laden self directly home to the couch.

I decided to split this somewhere down the middle.  I hung in there for my one beer, grabbed some beeramisu and headed home.  I gave myself a little pat on the back for trying.  Is it better to have tried and failed, then never to have tried at all?

True champions aren’t always the ones that win, but those with the most guts.  – Mia Hamm

So, next time life takes you out of your comfort zone, ask yourself…what would you do?

The Ginga Ninja

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Tartar Sauce with a Side of Love

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Have you ever been fishing?  I’m not sure how many women have.  Maybe that’s just sexist of me…it is assumable that between fathers, grandfathers, brothers, and boyfriends most women have fished at one point in time or the other.  This girl personally enjoys fishing.

I’m no pro, but I can handle the squiggly worm, the frozen bait, and even (if small enough) remove that fish myself.  I must admit that as peaceful as it can be, I’m not always game for catch and release fishing.  Of course if the cute little fish is too small to fit in my stomach, I’ll let him be…but, I do think if you have put that poor little guy through fear, panic, and assumable pain you may as well eat him.  That sounds terrible.  But, a fun quote from my girl Gray in the movie Catch and Release is,“I think catch and release fisherman are heartless weenies. I think putting a fish through agony for nothing more than your own entertainment is just plain cruel. I think if you’re going to torture a living thing if, you’re going to make it look into the eyes of its maker, face its own puny little place in the universe, then, for God’s sake, have the decency to eat it!” 

But, to restate…I like fishing…for FISH.  Not men.  I want to truly believe that there is still some special connection I may have with someone, not just bait that I hooked him with. Now, big breasts do help, but it’s hard to keep that fish once the bait is gone.  You need something to keep it alive, something to keep it fresh, and though this will ruin the analogy, something to keep it real.  If I knew what was needed to make it last forever, well, I may not have been writing this blog right now.  But, I haven’t.  Maybe you haven’t.  But, trust me, catching a fish is not like catching a man.  The key with relationships isn’t to catch, but to keep.

“Catching Fish; I’m sure it’s not that much harder than catching a man.”  (Courtney, The Bachelor, Season Bajillion).

The Ginga Ninja