Tag Archives: positive

Missing your spoon or shovel?

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red-buddha (1)I’ve always been the first to believe in signs. To believe in signs, larger meanings, karmic justice…you name it, I’ve thought it. I can list off a finite number of times I received karmic justice, but not always. No, not always.

Well, today I find myself sitting here thinking there is no deeper meaning or destiny. It is all chance and the actions of individuals. Their risks, their kindness, their anger, their selfishness. Go out and be all that you can be, but don’t believe you are destined to be it. Go out and risk and take challenges not because those will bring you where you are meant to go, but maybe because they will bring you where you never intended to.

I’m tired. I’m tired of waiting for some bigger thing to evolve. It’s not going to happen. This is just the way it is. And I’m so tired of people telling you to keep dating and keep waiting for that all-hallowed match. Don’t settle. Don’t be scared. Don’t be shy. Know what I think? Be whatever you want to be. Do whatever you want to do. If you want to settle – settle! If you don’t want to settle, be prepared for a life potentially alone. Because to be completely honest and completely bitter…the ride on the way to meeting somebody great is a soul-sucking, exhausting, anti-adventure that only the foolish will follow.

Okay, okay. I realize this is all a little pessimistic for my newfound enlightenment, but today I am mad. I am mad because I managed to reconnect with somebody to only have 2 weeks and 3 failed date attempts later him decide the universe didn’t want us together. The universe? You bailed because you were tired, grumpy and ditched me for better plans. So, in the end he wanted to cut our losses while we were ahead (Ahem..our) because though he wanted to go out, he just didn’t believe it was meant to be. Let’s be honest about why, because the universe is intervening or your selfish nature is? Either way, in the end he said he wanted to end with no hard feelings and on good terms – smiley face. My answer? I think good terms may be a bit of an overstatement.

Sure, I’m as rational as the rest of them and have realized holding out for something to work out is like waiting for a third limb to grow out of my ass, but don’t try to feed me bullshit and tell me it tastes good. You get out of life the effort you put into it…or so they say. That in itself may not even be true. Just realize you will have good days and bad and sometimes life just ain’t fair. People ain’t fair. Timing ain’t fair. Circumstance ain’t fair. Maybe there is no bigger meaning to it all. Just surviving can be your indicator for success, well that and maybe managing to leave some ice cream in the damn container.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. – Albert Einstein

The Ginga Ninja

 

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Sometimes A Cliché is Just a Cliché, and Sometimes it’s Not

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Neil Patrick Harris, comebackNothing is impossible.  I may not always believe this every day of my life, but there are a million clichés  to go with this, “all things are possible”, “never say never”, “tomorrow is a new day”, “today is the first day of the rest of your life”….

But, it’s true.  Comebacks from teen idols, millionaires who started from nothing, my cat that seems to get healthier as he ages and the fact that I can keep rediscovering myself and find new goals in this game we call life…it all points to you never really can tell.  Though I think to be honest, our rediscovery is less about changing and more about accepting the things that have always been there.

“And when you think it’s all over, it’s not over, it’s not over” – Tears for Fears

The Ginga Ninja

She’s Positively Positive

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red picklePickles.  Olives.  Garlic.  Panna Cotta.  Cream Cheese Icing.  Wheat Beer.  Red Wine.  Cats.  Music.  Art.   Movies.  Quotes.  Massages.  Long Hair.  Bright Colours.  Talking.  Reading.  Sleeping.  Cooking.

These are all things I like.  And every time I find myself down and out I need to remember all the things I like…all the things that make me ME and all the things I would miss if I weren’t around to enjoy them.

You don’t have to like these things, but there would be another similar and yet unique list for you.  A friend once told me to focus on one good thing that happened each day.  It puts into perspective that through all the hard times and through all the uncertainty…shines through compliments, bright shiny moments and ultimately things that you….like.  So, even if the world doesn’t always like you, there will be parts of the world you like.

So like that wonderful commercial with the curly-haired little blond girl who emits positivity and recites:

I like my dad, I like my cousins.  I like my hair, I like my haircuts.  I like my pajamas.  I like my stuff.  I like my room.  I like my whole house!  My whole house is great.  I can do anything good, better than anyone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kKswLd65Ws

Readers, I like you.

The Ginga Ninja

A Year From Now You Will Wish You Had Started Today

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vintage-calendar-1953-april-675x520A year.  How long does it take to decide if you have succeeded or failed?  A year?

Somehow I doubt it.  We like to think that.  We like to look at life and say “Where will I be a year from now”, “Where was I a year ago”?  In fact, my whole life I have handled my dad looking back at vacations and saying “Guess where we were exactly one year ago today?” Hopeful and depressing at the same time I’m afraid.

Is this a good way to look at things, or a bad one?  Or just normal?  I mean, every New Years we look back at the year that has passed and look forward to the year coming.  Entertainment Tonight, Much Music, and a multitude of shows decided to take a look at the Best and Worst of (in this case) 2012.

A lot of people I know have had a long…and strange year.  Me included.  My friend’s mom told me it was because it was the year of the Dragon, or maybe those Mayans had it half-right…the world wasn’t ending, just changing.

Whatever the case, the year has now come and gone.  I am one year older, 3 lbs heavier and in many cases nowhere further. But, I guess that’s all how you look at it, right?

If I want to put it in perspective and instead of saying “still single, still renting, still contract” I can do this instead.  It is time for my accomplishment list of 2012.

I have survived on my own for one year, I have proven I can live, pay rent and bills alone for one year, I have paid down $5k more in debt than one year ago and have been through one exhausting move. I am the proud owner of a vintage piano (unfortunately in storage), am also the proud owner of a guitar (which I can also barely play), I now own a Christmas tree, a vaccum, a new computer and have painted 10 (seriously, TEN) acrylic paintings. I have tried kung fu and tai chi, have visited San Francisco, have met 50 or more people that I did not know a year ago, have tried probably 15 new restaurants, have been to 6 new bars, have another year of work experience under my belt, have started copywriting on the side, have finished a digital album, am one season further in numerous TV shows, have read about 7 more books, have stopped biting my nails and (drumroll please)……have officially been the author of this blog for one year.

So, what can a year bring?  Maybe not six figures, maybe not a mortgage, maybe not a ring, but if you look at it right…maybe a lot more than you ever imagined.

The Ginga Ninja

The Secret is a Half-Glass of Positivity…or at Least a Half-Glass of Wine

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Hmm…..so, all of those people out there who have read the book “The Secret”….is the ‘secret‘ that you need to visualize exactly what you want and you will get it, or just visualize a happy outcome and things will naturally fall into place because of your positive attitude? What I mean by this is that if you see the world through rose-coloured glasses then maybe even the worst of scenarios won’t seem half-bad….

About 5 years ago when this book was flying off the shelves, I opted for another read.  “The Happy Neurotic” was my self-help guru.  It was a great read that encouraged you to relish in your oddities, try to love yourself through self-doubt, and realize that your personal fears are often what propel you to succeed.  I didn’t really buy all that ‘visualize’ and it will just happen mumbo jumbo…I have always strongly believed that action creates results.  Maybe aside from the chapter encouraging me to take up stand-up comedy as an outlet to self-deprecate (who needs stand-up when I have a blog?), the Happy Neurotic was a good read at the time.  It was a true message, not filled with hidden meanings, magic beans, or the belief that just ask and you will receive.

But, now that I’m a bit older, and I like to think a bit (wiser?)…I do think that positive thoughts = positive outcomes.  Not because you visualized something and it magically happened, but because you can see the good in so much more of what you never saw it in before.  I have the option of looking at my life and saying “Single, 31, renting, contract position, debt, used belongings” and create a reason to jump off that ledge.  However, instead I’m kind of looking at this all as a bit of an open book.  I have 2 degrees, a job I’m enjoying even if it’s not forever, am lucky enough to live in my own place, enjoy my own space, and take advantage of all the wonderful friends and family who in the past I didn’t know were always there for me…

They were. I just wasn’t always there for me.  Instead of trying to be the best or change the world, maybe just do your best and let the world change you.

Don’t get me wrong.  This is not to say that I’m not incredibly proud of myself for all the things I have gone after and with hard work, dedication, and effort I have achieved.  But, the harder part has been that these things didn’t necessarily make me happier in the end because I had set unrealistic expectations on what they would feel like or how they would change my life.  So, even though I was a success, I often didn’t feel it.  Hell, I battle that still.  I have proven that one can achieve what they set their mind to, but I think the key is to set your sights a little lower sometimes.  Good message to give the kids, right?

Mmmmhmmm. I think my parenting style may suffer some judgement in the future….

In all seriousness, lower may not be the right word, but just make sure you are realistic about what you are reaching for.

I now realize that the whole cliché of “glass half-empty or glass half-full” isn’t just a cliché.  It can’t be forced and it can’t be faked.  It isn’t an instantaneous change and it isn’t a perfect formula.  Let’s be honest, it’s not as simple as just changing your mind one day…there is no ‘on & off’ positivity switch. I think the real ‘secret‘ is honestly, truly, trying to see the glass as half full.  It’s life…and people…and time that can change how you look at things.  I can’t say I won’t have bad days, lonely nights, or things that don’t work out…but I can say that at least today, it’s a little bit intriguing to not know what is going to happen next.  Maybe the key isn’t to envision at all…

I do think that too many expectations or trying too hard to attain something may not always bring about the results you imagined.  There is a fantastic scene in the movie, “500 days of Summer” that shows a split-screen of Tom’s expectations vs his reality.  I, for one think that over-visualizing what you want from life will create a false hope that attaining one last thing will change you.  I’m not saying don’t make goals, I’m just saying, don’t judge who you are as a person by them.   I am over the moon to see what happens when you don’t try so damn hard.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.                     – Maya Angelou 

The Ginga Ninja

A Life Less Extraordinary

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Does normal exist anymore?  In fact, did it ever?  I once heard a good quote, “Normal people are just people you don’t know very well yet”.  Once upon a time, the world existed in the mindset that everybody was normal, lived a normal life, wore normal clothes, and only hippies, radicals, and the like stood out from this crowd.  I think nowadays the message to be unique and be yourself has people wondering what that self is.  If we are all trying to find ourselves, and stand out with our unique talents and beliefs…isn’t trying to be unique now the new normal, and trying to be normal, the new stand out?

I come from a family of four kids.  Four very successful and very different kids…but, when young we all strived to have the same goals, same achievements, same wealth, and same standards of life. And now as adults, none of us are living identical lives.  Not all good, not all bad, not all of our choices are the right ones in hindsight, but we are all living within today’s standards of “normal”, which are frankly, well… none.

I had a recent discussion with my brother, where I said, “You know, in the eyes of what is considered traditionally normal, you are the only one of us living that life”.  He has 3 kids, 2 cats and dog, an addition on his house, has been married to the same woman for 10 years, loves golfing, going to cottages, planning vacations, and having backyard barbecues.  In the eyes of what my parents dreamed for us, he is living that dream.  Well, unless you count the Tiki Bar and Jimmy Buffet obsession…

I, on the other hand, have lived another life that though many people envy, has been frought with ups and downs, mainly based on my own fears of perpetually striving to improve, or having false assumptions that I was meant for something more than all those ‘normal’ kids.  That I, of all people, truly was special.  My measures of failure have been unrealistic, and my hopes and dreams have at times been abnormally big.  However, look at my photos, hear my stories, and imagine you are living my life….and you too will think I’ve lived the dream.  At least an interesting version of it.

Though I don’t have regrets (most of the time), I do have a newfound respect and love for my brother and his happiness in the simple things.  As I get older I want to remember life how I did when I was younger. I strive to have quiet nights, joy in the small stuff and an appreciation of the people and things in my life.  Not to mention that I sort of now love who I am more for my failures and epiphanies than my quote-on-quote “successes”.  I’m tired of struggling and striving and trying to be who I thought I should be…and am just excited to be who I am.  Or at a minimum continuing to figure out who that is.  I’m tired of making big plans, and ready to make little ones…because life is marathon, not a sprint my friend.

It’s amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions. – Ben Stein

The Ginga Ninja