Tag Archives: normal

Talk yourself out of it

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keep-calm-and-talk-to-yourself-3Do you ever talk to yourself?

It’s an interesting topic that’ I’ve broached with a few people lately. Most of us know that people talk to pets, curse like a sailor to computers or some even need to talk themselves through the steps of a project. I’ve done a bit of a polling around and it turns out that speaking out loud is quite a common thing. Well, that’s a given (unless your are a ventriloquist) speaking without it being out loud is next to impossible, but you know what I mean, speaking aloud when nobody is there should be one step away from the funny farm, right?

Some people talk when they are mad at themselves, some do it when they are thinking through a complex task and some (like me) say their side of a conversation to a person that has no idea they are in it. The funny thing is, I never know I am doing it until I am around other human beings and suddenly catch myself talking to well, nobody while walking down the street. You know that your crazy neighbourhood has embedded itself, when…

But, in that moment I realize that I think too much, worry too much and probably shouldn’t be living by my crazy self. When I think a tough conversation is coming – with my mom, a boss, a friend, a beau…I think about how it will go before it ever happens. Some write letters, some write it down on paper, but me? Well, I rehearse it in my head…or out loud.

This in itself made me worry about that very head, but the moment I started admitting this out loud (purposely) to5fe8522804692498e327e080f5e2745b others, I was told that this is a surprisingly normal thing. Two co-workers have come out of the closet charging themselves with guilty on rehearsing mental scripts too, glad to know even when I’m alone, well, I’m not really alone.

Some time ago I read that if you were in a bad place, you should speak aloud and video or audio record it. That for some reason, your true self and your true thoughts will emerge. I guess unless you have a steady stream of consciousness when you write, the words on paper may not evoke your real emotion or even opinion. I guess it’s because you are busy trying to make sense of it and make it sound all fancy dancy for you readers out there, editing, proofing, using big words and the whatnot. But, if you are upset, if you are confused, if you are lost…speak aloud and the thoughts will come. Funnily enough, I was watching a show tonight that thought the very same thing…

Sometimes you say the things you need to hear – Grace, Frankie & Grace

The Ginga Ninja

A Life Less Extraordinary

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Does normal exist anymore?  In fact, did it ever?  I once heard a good quote, “Normal people are just people you don’t know very well yet”.  Once upon a time, the world existed in the mindset that everybody was normal, lived a normal life, wore normal clothes, and only hippies, radicals, and the like stood out from this crowd.  I think nowadays the message to be unique and be yourself has people wondering what that self is.  If we are all trying to find ourselves, and stand out with our unique talents and beliefs…isn’t trying to be unique now the new normal, and trying to be normal, the new stand out?

I come from a family of four kids.  Four very successful and very different kids…but, when young we all strived to have the same goals, same achievements, same wealth, and same standards of life. And now as adults, none of us are living identical lives.  Not all good, not all bad, not all of our choices are the right ones in hindsight, but we are all living within today’s standards of “normal”, which are frankly, well… none.

I had a recent discussion with my brother, where I said, “You know, in the eyes of what is considered traditionally normal, you are the only one of us living that life”.  He has 3 kids, 2 cats and dog, an addition on his house, has been married to the same woman for 10 years, loves golfing, going to cottages, planning vacations, and having backyard barbecues.  In the eyes of what my parents dreamed for us, he is living that dream.  Well, unless you count the Tiki Bar and Jimmy Buffet obsession…

I, on the other hand, have lived another life that though many people envy, has been frought with ups and downs, mainly based on my own fears of perpetually striving to improve, or having false assumptions that I was meant for something more than all those ‘normal’ kids.  That I, of all people, truly was special.  My measures of failure have been unrealistic, and my hopes and dreams have at times been abnormally big.  However, look at my photos, hear my stories, and imagine you are living my life….and you too will think I’ve lived the dream.  At least an interesting version of it.

Though I don’t have regrets (most of the time), I do have a newfound respect and love for my brother and his happiness in the simple things.  As I get older I want to remember life how I did when I was younger. I strive to have quiet nights, joy in the small stuff and an appreciation of the people and things in my life.  Not to mention that I sort of now love who I am more for my failures and epiphanies than my quote-on-quote “successes”.  I’m tired of struggling and striving and trying to be who I thought I should be…and am just excited to be who I am.  Or at a minimum continuing to figure out who that is.  I’m tired of making big plans, and ready to make little ones…because life is marathon, not a sprint my friend.

It’s amazing what ordinary people can do if they set out without preconceived notions. – Ben Stein

The Ginga Ninja