Tag Archives: Meaning of Life

The Curse of the Dreamer


Take a deep breath and don’t panic my girl
There is little to control in this crazy old world
You think and you plan and envision all day
You make up scenarios where it does go your way
(What is your way?)
(What would you say?)                                                                                                                                                     What could truly ever make it your day?                                                                                                                                   If you could even get it, what would it be
Would it be freedom, stability, kids or just we
Do you want a house, a pool, a dog and a cat
Or maybe a jet, a whiskey and designer brimmed hat
What really matters, money and cars
Or loved ones, liked ones and those far away stars
Is there a right and a wrong to your entire life
A definitive moment, pure man and wife
Do your actions always determine your end                                                                                                                             Or in your own story, can you be villain and friend                                                                                                               Inherently evil, deliriously mad, endearingly simple, to the bone just plain bad
Are these all just faces, all feelings we show
What’s the real outcome, what’s the real low
Everybody can say it, anybody can think                                                                                                                                   I should be writing my plan on the edge of this brink
(But what if I sink?)
(What if I blink?)
What if I yawn and my breath, it might stink?
So you dreamers go lie awake late at night
Try not to think, try not to fright
Life it is scary, life it is hard
It can also be wondrous if you play the right card
The deck it is big and so hard to predict                                                                   There are times you’re winning and times kid, you’re licked
But try as you might to stay out of your mind                                                           Try your best to be honest, your best to be kind                                                       Know you will fail and that it’s okay                                                                           Just try to remember, start again the next day
Because sometimes you fall and sometimes you win                                       That’s the game of life and it wears you quite thin
It plays with your mind and tricks your own head                                           Where maybe some days you won’t leave your own bed
But keep on believing and doubting and breathing                                                                                                       Because when it’s all over, we are all still just leaving.


The Ginga Ninja

The Unfillable Void


Void stampI’ve written posts here and there pointing out the occasional desire or maybe more appropriately put…emptiness we have filled with goals, aspirations, big dreams and pointless tasks. Somewhere along the way we are all taught there are certain benchmarks to hit in order to lead a “successful and fulfilling” life. Each and everytime we feel an uneasiness creeping up we try to tick off the next box on that list of fulfilling life moments and achievements, yet for some reason we are still left wanting.

I never understood this void. And better yet, I thought it was just me.

In our own little myopic worlds, we don’t seem to understand that everyone, and I mean everyone, suffers. But, to what extent and what emphasis is put on which wrong syllable is often measured by wealth, education and the basic hierarchy of needs. The saddest part of this is that no matter how much you achieve, how many things you attain and how much money you make…you may still have a little emptiness sitting in your stomach that you just can’t explain.

And this, my friends, is called the human condition.

For some reason our brains are hardwired to want to reach some sort of next step, next need, next want. If we don’t know what that is, sometimes we try to shake things up with a new degree, new career, new spouse, new car or even a new country. But, the bottom line is that no matter how many times we change it up, we can’t outrun it. The best version of ourselves is always just out of reach.

There are too many articles out there about happiness, anxiety, the meaning of life, self-help and self-worth for this epiphany to come to me and me alone. When are people happy?  Well, if we look at the study of psychology, this is all people have been talking about for centuries. The world’s greatest minds have been trying to decipher the meaning of life since the beginning of time, so what made any one of us think we were so special?

I finally understand, I’m not.Red_Void_by_Gaurdian

But, I also understand that this feeling most likely isn’t going away. When it creeps up after a big night of drinking, a breakup, looking at bank statements or being bored at your job…you need to accept it’s part of you, it’s part of life and there will always be more to have, to be, to want. All you can do is try your best to dull the ache, soften the voice, follow your dreams and realize that you are exactly the same as everyone else. The human condition is a condition indeed.

Mark Manson, a favourite of mine, explains it and explains it well. Stop trying to attain happiness and just try to learn acceptance. Pleasure is mistaken for happiness, and achievements mistaken for worth. Trust me when I say, it’s not always worth it. http://markmanson.net/stop-trying-to-be-happy#sxjbVV:6Q9y

The Ginga Ninja



Please Tell Me the Meaning of Rollercoasters so I can figure out the Meaning of Life


red rollercoasterHave you ever known that you wanted to cook, (or bake, or run, or talk, or write), or let’s say do…something, but you don’t really know what? You aren’t sure which activity to choose, or even when you do if it is the right source for your current motivation…but I guess, in all reality, it’s a place for your energies to go.

Well, I’m clearly in that mood. To be honest, gone are the days of diligently filling my journal and more often than not what it was filled with was nonsensical analysis and longing anyways, or in other words (ssshh), “my bad days”. I think often the only reason there was an entry at all was because in that moment I needed something to do and somewhere to put my mind. Busy hands, busy mind…busywork some would say?

Essentially, is our whole life busywork? This is a very warped and skewed view on this I realize, but really, truly, if we overthink it…what does all the good we do achieve? I mean, the Doctor, the Lawyer, and the Panhandler…they all end up in the same place, don’t they? Whether you raise 14 children, 14 cats, or 14 herb gardens (which by the way I won’t be doing as I just managed to successfully kill my dill in 1 week), at the very end…you end up the same. So, that brings me full circle to the meaning of life I suppose.

That’s a big one. A big one that I probably should not tackle. I guess the meaning of life can be different for different people, but it’s a question as old as time itself. If you are Catholic it means one thing (heaven…hell…purgatory), if you are a Buddhist it means another, and really I think how educated you are and what part of the world you are from can impact your meaning too. I mean, there are people out there fighting to stay alive against all odds, and yet in Western culture we take our own because we aren’t sure what to do with them.

So, what is the meaning of life? I can safely say that I know that I don’t know. I can make something up based on all the little “isms” I’ve heard over the years, and I truly wish that I could believe what I tell myself to believe at all times. My mom thinks it’s about using the talents you have and hoping that there really is something bigger than us at the end.

I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end. – Abraham Lincoln

I can sum up to the best of MY abilities (and I only claimed President in elementary school), something a little like this: Live as much john lennon, the meaning of lifeas you can while you are here, laugh, cry, think, don’t think, be good to people, always try your hardest, don’t take things too seriously, take some things seriously, and hope that when your end comes you can look back and say “Life is complicated and I did my best”.

I am not sure a world without regret exists, because even if everything happens for a reason or you did what you thought was right at the time…circumstance changes and you change – so your view on how something played out over time will change too. And once upon a time I naively believed that if you lived your life the way you should – you would wake up one day just peachy keen. But, with age and experience I have realized that no matter the situation, that will change too. So, maybe we are human afterall and even if we are content one day, we may be sad the next…Maybe, just maybe, that is just the rollercoaster we call life.

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness is. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” – Albert Camus

The Ginga Ninja

meaning of life