Tag Archives: Judd Nelson

He Got on the Plane

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say-anything-john-cusackWhatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I want to ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. – Olive Penderghast, Easy A.

And isn’t it too bad that he didn’t?  I wish that movie love scenes were real and that boys really did do these things.  I also really wish my life was set to a soundtrack or had a really awesome choreographed dance scene.  Music makes everything better.  I mean, it can also make things sadder and nobody wants that, but it makes the good moments a little more good and the memorable ones a lot more memorable.  But, back to the point, where is the romance?

Is romance the little gestures or the big ones?

Do you think planning 25 gifts for a 25th birthday, or just simply getting somebody a coffee when they are tired the real gesture?  Is looking at somebody with love in your eyes worth more than a fist-fight in the street?  Is having the decency to text someone back more meaningful than a cross-continent flight?  Is remembering your fourth anniversary better than a private jet to Paris?  You tell me.  Don’t get me wrong, nobody I have ever dated could afford a private jet to Paris, but is love in the big things or the little ones?

I know that I have tried in my own guarded way to show love.  Through thoughtful gifts, gestures, words, personalized breakfasts and daily hugs I have tried my best.  I may not always be perfect, but goddammit, I have tried.  And so have a few others along the way, even jaded old me can admit that.

I once dated a boy who lit a hallway with candles and scattered rose petals to my bed.  I was hand-delivered the ultimate girl-romance moment (cue the song “Kiss Me” now), but I was only 22.  The whole thing seemed a little overdone and awkward if I’m honest.  I have also had the long-awaited regret email, love poetry sent by letter and most shockingly, the vacation fling turned real.  And recently?  I had a young man continually try to put his arm around me 50’s style while walking along a boardwalk…he took deep, satisfying sighs and stared dreamily up into the moonlight.  You know what?  The whole thing was annoying…and FAKE.

But, love, real love should be making a sacrifice, no matter how small.  For years I begged a partner to turn to me and look at me as he sang the Proclaimers 6 simple words “…And I would walk 500 miles…” and he never would…in all our years together he never would.  That small, miniscule act would have meant the John-Hughes-chivalry-loving moments of 80’s movies could come true more than any over-the-top widely inappropriate gesture ever would.

In today’s day and age a text is not enough.  An e-birthday card, a facebook profile pic, a comment on a status update…these things are not romance.  Romance is waiting on somebody’s porch for them to come home – not texting them at 3 am.  Romance is telling somebody they look stunning, not sending a booty call message spelling “come” with only 3 letters and a “u”.  Romance is buying every single lemon baked good you find because it’s somebody’s favourite, not adding them to your circles on Google+.

But, like in the movies, (even the highly realistic ones that know life is not a musical and romance is not a John Hughes movie)….it comes now and again.  You still hear about beautiful proposal stories, men giving up gluten for their intolerant wives and ladies moving across the world to be with their man.  Just the other day a male friend of mine admitted that once he ordered flowers from his florist girlfriend under a false name and showed up to give them to her in person.  Oh, and a tiny sidenote, she lived in another country.  He made me smirk, but he proved chivalry is in fact not dead.  Now, I just need to work on getting him to follow me around with a boombox and start flash mobs often…totally not kidding.

At least that girl got what most of us movie-loving wannabes can only dream about.  But, let’s just say it does give me a reason to still dream.  I don’t expect my life or my love to be perfect.  I don’t expect in today’s busy day and age that I will be on somebody’s mind at all times, but at least a story or two (even sometimes my own) make me realize I can still dream for Prince Charming, even if he is only Charming for a Moment.

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The Ginga Ninja

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Fist Pump Forever

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breakfastclub-benderWhen is the last time you had a night where you just talked and gossiped and laughed and bellowed?  Me?  A little while.  It’s not to say they don’t happen, but it seems as you get older, the opportunity to just hang with a friend, watch a movie, drink some wine and have no consequence seems to fade away.  We all have our own lives, too many plans and find ourselves preoccupied with well, preoccupations.

I for one love stupid movies.  I love stupid, funny movies where you need to pay close attention to see what is really going on.  I’m afraid recently that I almost missed the plot while oh-so-religiously checking my iphone to see if I was indeed invited to an oh-so-important bachelorette party.  However, my friend, well she kept catching the things I didn’t.  I realized that I needed to put down that phone and pay attention to this movie, because dammit, it was funny and I was missing it.  It was my life and I was missing it. Once I stopped and decided to focus on only one thing I realized how great the simple things can be.

For anybody who has seen “Pitch Perfect”, it’s an absolutely, horrifically, amazing movie.  It is purposely terrible and the plot is intentionallyvhs_red_571 ridiculous.  It can go up there with “Best in Show”, “Bring it On”, “Dodgeball” and “Scary Movie”.  But, just like those movies – you need to actually listen and actually watch to see all the nuances and underlying jokes and let me tell you…it’s been awhile since I’ve laughed, rewinded, and said “Did they really just say that?” so often with a friend.

We don’t get enough of these moments as we get older.  I know that ten years ago they were endless.  Ten years ago with roommates, hangovers, and procrastination…my ability to watch pointless movies and laugh…and cry…were daily.  The world seemed so big and the future so bright.  But, now?  Well, I don’t get them as often as I should, but the odd time I do…I think they mean that much more.

So, take a moment.  Watch a ridiculously awful, but ultimately wonderful movie.  Watch it with a friend.  Watch it and rewind. Watch it and laugh.  Watch it and cry.  Watch it open to falling in love with the worst leading man ever.  Watch it with the hopeful wide eyes of a girl who 10 years ago thought that those cheesy movie plot lines really could happen.  That the feelings in a John Hughes movie were real and that somewhere out there, whether it be family, friend, or more is a person who will pump their fist for you and sing “Don’t you Forget About Me”.  It may not be the world I live in now, but sometimes, just sometimes, it’s the world I want to live in always.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller

The Ginga Ninja