Tag Archives: John Cusack

Problems are not Stop Signs, They are simply Guidelines.

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Recently, I had a moment. I know, I know…I’ve had many moments. But, once upon a time I believed in Signs. I really believed that each and 41GP0ARiPvL._SY300_every thing was interrelated. Things happened for a reason, karma is real and that sometimes fate nudges you in the very direction you were meant to go.

Now, the good thing about this is that sometimes I can steer others in the right direction. I can look at all the pieces of the puzzle and stay extremely positive about the path they are meant to take. I’m GREAT at giving others clairvoyant direction. The bad thing about this is there are times that ignorance can be bliss…and when you get a prickly feeling when bad things happen…very rarely do you get to live in that bliss. Now, that’s a bummer because suddenly you dig to find out what in your world has gone wrong, and you know what? If you dig deep enough, something usually has.

However, probably the biggest downfall of living in this world is when you follow the wrong signs. When you are contemplating two roads diverged and you start looking for signals – sometimes maybe what you are seeing are simply signs that have twisted in the wind, or were put there by evil OZ monkeys and wiley coyotes. Sometimes when you read the omens fate has sent instead of carving your own path, well it may be coincidence or it may simply be poor reading. I mean, we can choose to see things that we are looking for, right?

I guess an example of this would be when I was contemplating next steps in a relationship and I started to crush on an old friend. It was the wrong decision. Most thought we were both different people now and like Christopher and Lorelai in Gilmore Girls, maybe it would work this time. I chose to see things, (that probably had I been a little less aware) …wouldn’t have been there at all. Examples of this would be that right when I found myself getting jealous about his wife, new dog and house – poof, he separated. When I sat in my car and thought about how the song “Falling Slowly” would be such a good song for us – it came on in the car, and then later still, he started playing it on the guitar.

stock-vector--red-signs-vector-47244244Sometimes, a sign is not a sign at all, but maybe a warning. Safety Directions, Stop Signs, Train Lights…they are all big flashing warnings and it’s up to us whether to read them right. If we are looking for the wrong signs (the person on the other side of the train tracks urging us over) we will find them. I mean, when you get a black car, suddenly everyone seems to have a black car! I have a secret, it’s not because there are more black cars, it’s because you are so much more aware of something that you never were before. It’s all about Perception.

So, are signs always good, are signs always bad? No. It’s up to you to be aware enough to see them and also up to you to be smart enough to read them.

Maybe the absence of a sign is a sign.  Maybe there is no fate and if there is, it’s not working for ME. – Jonathan Trager, Serendipity

The Ginga Ninja

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He Got on the Plane

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say-anything-john-cusackWhatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80’s movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I want to ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80’s movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life. – Olive Penderghast, Easy A.

And isn’t it too bad that he didn’t?  I wish that movie love scenes were real and that boys really did do these things.  I also really wish my life was set to a soundtrack or had a really awesome choreographed dance scene.  Music makes everything better.  I mean, it can also make things sadder and nobody wants that, but it makes the good moments a little more good and the memorable ones a lot more memorable.  But, back to the point, where is the romance?

Is romance the little gestures or the big ones?

Do you think planning 25 gifts for a 25th birthday, or just simply getting somebody a coffee when they are tired the real gesture?  Is looking at somebody with love in your eyes worth more than a fist-fight in the street?  Is having the decency to text someone back more meaningful than a cross-continent flight?  Is remembering your fourth anniversary better than a private jet to Paris?  You tell me.  Don’t get me wrong, nobody I have ever dated could afford a private jet to Paris, but is love in the big things or the little ones?

I know that I have tried in my own guarded way to show love.  Through thoughtful gifts, gestures, words, personalized breakfasts and daily hugs I have tried my best.  I may not always be perfect, but goddammit, I have tried.  And so have a few others along the way, even jaded old me can admit that.

I once dated a boy who lit a hallway with candles and scattered rose petals to my bed.  I was hand-delivered the ultimate girl-romance moment (cue the song “Kiss Me” now), but I was only 22.  The whole thing seemed a little overdone and awkward if I’m honest.  I have also had the long-awaited regret email, love poetry sent by letter and most shockingly, the vacation fling turned real.  And recently?  I had a young man continually try to put his arm around me 50’s style while walking along a boardwalk…he took deep, satisfying sighs and stared dreamily up into the moonlight.  You know what?  The whole thing was annoying…and FAKE.

But, love, real love should be making a sacrifice, no matter how small.  For years I begged a partner to turn to me and look at me as he sang the Proclaimers 6 simple words “…And I would walk 500 miles…” and he never would…in all our years together he never would.  That small, miniscule act would have meant the John-Hughes-chivalry-loving moments of 80’s movies could come true more than any over-the-top widely inappropriate gesture ever would.

In today’s day and age a text is not enough.  An e-birthday card, a facebook profile pic, a comment on a status update…these things are not romance.  Romance is waiting on somebody’s porch for them to come home – not texting them at 3 am.  Romance is telling somebody they look stunning, not sending a booty call message spelling “come” with only 3 letters and a “u”.  Romance is buying every single lemon baked good you find because it’s somebody’s favourite, not adding them to your circles on Google+.

But, like in the movies, (even the highly realistic ones that know life is not a musical and romance is not a John Hughes movie)….it comes now and again.  You still hear about beautiful proposal stories, men giving up gluten for their intolerant wives and ladies moving across the world to be with their man.  Just the other day a male friend of mine admitted that once he ordered flowers from his florist girlfriend under a false name and showed up to give them to her in person.  Oh, and a tiny sidenote, she lived in another country.  He made me smirk, but he proved chivalry is in fact not dead.  Now, I just need to work on getting him to follow me around with a boombox and start flash mobs often…totally not kidding.

At least that girl got what most of us movie-loving wannabes can only dream about.  But, let’s just say it does give me a reason to still dream.  I don’t expect my life or my love to be perfect.  I don’t expect in today’s busy day and age that I will be on somebody’s mind at all times, but at least a story or two (even sometimes my own) make me realize I can still dream for Prince Charming, even if he is only Charming for a Moment.

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The Ginga Ninja