Tag Archives: Dexting

To Text or Not to Text


to text or not to Text, red

To Text, or not to Text, that is the Question:
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to Suffer
The rejection and heartache of outrageous Dexting,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of iPhones,
And by opposing end them: to Text, to Talk no More

Now, I felt it was about time somebody updated this little soliloquy.  This thought came to mind as a good friend of mine was asking my advice on to text…or not to text a guy she is dating.  How sad is it for us that our modern version of dating is now Texting?  She had been feeling under the weather and hadn’t heard from him in awhile.  I asked if he had phoned, or emailed, or even offered to come and check on her in person.  The answer was No, he hadn’t texted all day.

Isn’t it crazy?  Our new version of trying to get to know somebody is through a little screen and the speed of our fingers.  I know that technology has added an extra element of hardship to what is already a really difficult pastime.  Very few people really like dating.  Those that do either want to be unattached or have already found a really solid partner.  The rest of us?  We go up and down weekly, if not daily, as to whether or not it’s all worth it.  The madness we feel when we think we are being rejected, the anger we feel when they are playing games and the guilt we feel when we just don’t like them back.  Trust me, dating is hard enough without technology.

Once upon a time you talked on the phone every few days, perhaps had a date once a week and then as time marched on you found yourself attending major functions and sharing social lives.  It wasn’t easy to meet people, but the selection was smaller and the attention more focused.  I can still remember when MSN and ICQ were the new ‘it’ thing.  I spent HOURS talking to boys that I liked on the computer instead of in person, but at least then it was the best, cheapest and easiest version of real-time we could have outside of actual interaction.  But now..NOW I can peruse my ex’s photos, check out the friends of my new crush and stare endlessly at that Facebook message box praying they are “into me”.  Since when does not hearing from a friend in two weeks mean they don’t like you?  In this instant-gratification, reachable-all-the-time world is when.

Now…we all know what everybody is doing all the time.  Our iPhones tell us when messages have been read, facebook tells you when somebody is online and dating sites let people message you as you browse.  All this real-time policing is a bit scary…maybe the book 1984 had it right all along, but Big Brother just took a very different form than we imagined…social media.

And yet, here I am using social media to spread this word.  In many ways, even though I need it to house a blog, even though I need it to keep a job…sometimes I wish there was a technology implosion.  Sometimes, just sometimes I wish things were simpler and that godforsaken smart devices didn’t exist.  Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish we could go back to the old days where you had an answering machine, or better yet…a notepad.no more texting

The Ginga Ninja

Will you text with me? Modern Love.


So, there are times I think I am soooo witty and funny, or more appropriately, hope I am.  But, just like everything in life, almost every thought, every moment, every feeling, every job you have (which is monumental to you!) has all been had before.  As it turns out, this proof rears its ugly head once again, that I am in fact NOT as special as my mother made me out to be.

(Funny thing about that is as child I was told to reach for the stars and never settle, as an adult I was told that life was not meant to be extraordinary and that I must envision less…oh mom…how I love your mind-messing schizophrenia).

Anyways, have you ever noticed that today’s version of dating BY TEXT is somewhat equivalent to the grade school pastime of passing notes to one another?  It’s impossible to know whether you are actually “dating” anymore or just passing time… and so many people hide behind modern-day technology and cannot live without those little screens. We are all so afraid of actually talking to one another, wasting our oh-so-precious time and wanting to appear non-committal, we just seem to have resorted from one version of passing notes to another.

In the movie “He’s just not that into you”, the character Mary rants, “I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work so I called him at home and then he emailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he emailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting. “

You know, she’s kind of right.  When this phenomenon hit a few years ago, I was somewhat taken aback that gone were the days of 4 hour phone calls, falling asleep on the line together whispering “you hang up…no YOU hang up”…and it was replaced by constant little one liners of “how was ur day?”, “what r U up to right now”, and “just out with friends 4 a beer, U?”.  I was frustrated as hell when I actually liked the guy that his cell phone didn’t seem to get coverage in a voice-to-voice conversation, yet somehow I magically received texts 24/7.  However, also elated about the ability to hide behind this little screen when I was busy, but still wanted to check in, or frankly just “wasn’t that into him”.

But, the old-fashioned days of actually meeting in person for coffee or having long and meaningful phone conversations appear to be gone.  We are now in the age of technology where only by the trail of little e-notes you carry around in your iPhone you can actually prove to your friends that you do, in fact, have a boyfriend.  Which is really, essentially the same as when you were in grade 5 and somebody asked you out by note.  Check the box, “Yes, No, Maybe” and there you had it.  You didn’t speak, you didn’t hold hands, you rarely looked at each other without giggling, yet the proof was there, clear as day…you checked the box marked YES and had a bonafide BOYFRIEND.

I wish, oh how I wish that dating was simpler.  That it wasn’t through phone, that maybe you did have the anticipation of talking to one another instead of the instant gratification of a text, and the WORST is when you know the text is read and yet they haven’t answered back (DAMN YOU iPHONE!!), but once again, it appears I am not original in these thoughts, nor am I alone.

My friend, the Single Girl says it here and says it well.  http://adventuresofasinglegirl.com/index.php/2011/11/e-t-phone-home/.  Don’t worry, someday, someone will find you important enough to pick up the phone and dial those simple, little, digits.  Someday my phone call will come.

The Ginga Ninja

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