Tag Archives: cockroach

A Roach a Day Keeps The Fear Away

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Time for a strange topic…COCKROACHES.  I like to joke about them a lot, maybe because I’m a bit of a closet Buddhist…in no way considered serious, but I do love those monks rocking their ginger robes and frankly, I do think karma is real.  Maybe not in the complete sense that you may be reincarnated as a worm, but in the straight and true facts that people will treat you how you treat them.

Cockroaches are horrendous little things.  My last 4 months in my old apartment I had a bit of an infestation in my kitchen.  They were disgusting.  They varied in size.  When there was one, there were usually many.  And MAN let me tell you, they were a bitch to kill.  I definitely understand why they survive nuclear disasters.

So when I temporarily moved from that apartment and back to my parents house…shortly before making a momentous life decision and moving literally halfway across the world… I saw one.  Only one.

(One Cockroach!  Muah, ha, ha, ha, ha.  Sorry, a little callout to you Sesame Street lovers out there).

Either way, the very first night I moved there, in the middle of the night…I saw a cockroach?!  Why were they following me and what did it mean?  Anyways, I found this very strange…my parents had never seen cockroaches in their house…there seemed to be no others…and in the remaining 7 weeks I was there nobody saw any, nor to this day have they seen even one measly little cockroach.  This got me thinking about what it meant.  It had to mean something, right? Otherwise what was the point?

My dad insists it must have hitched its way into the house via my belongings, but I like to think it was deeper than that.  That packed box he names as the culprit sat 2 weeks in another apartment, had been in my car and was immediately moved unopened to a third storey closet.  This badass motherfucker cockroach was in the kitchen.  He was big, he was obvious, it was the middle of the night and he was only for me.

As it turns out, seeing cockroaches may not always be bad.  They can be a sign of strength, tenacity, and can symbolize the need for renewal.  They are a spokesmodel for survival and tell you that no matter what life throws at you, you can survive. http://sherryandrea.com/the-cockroach-animal-totem/

I can say, that was very true for the adventure I was about to take and even more true for the very different one that began after I got back.

Now, even if this was a complete and utter act of circumstance, I have a secret.  One I never told anybody.  My very first night back at my parents house after returning from fourteen months overseas, what did I see?  One, single, lonely cockroach scurry in front of me never to be seen again.

So, it’s been a big year.  A very big year.  And many people in my life are going through massive changes and extreme challenges.  Two nights ago, while talking through the stresses of life and all that has happened with a friend…(a friend that I was busy convincing it will all be okay in the end)…..a single cockroach ran across the floor.  Four months here and I did not see one until the middle of this conversation where we believed we needed to keep our chins up, eyes open and be strong.

Coincidence?  I think not.  I now believe those little buggers pop up when I need them most to send me a reminder.  I can survive.

The Ginga Ninja

You win Karma, You Always Do.

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I feel selfish lately. Funnily enough, many friends encourage this behaviour right now. When you come out of anything long-term (school, relationship, job) you realize how much time you spent trying to please friends, family, co-workers, your partner and show the world how ready you are to tackle it. So much of your life is about next steps, societal expectations, and doing the “right thing”. The second you throw that all out the window and try to recreate the course of your life, all bets are off.

So, everybody says “be selfish” right now. Be unreliable, spend money, feel pain, feel hurt, and feel extreme happiness in completely random and unpredictable acts. Be selfish, because that is who you really depend on and it may just be only for a limited time.

But, whether it’s the right or wrong attitude, I still feel bad when I let others down. I realize this is my chance for a little while to become unreliable, a loaded gun in a game of Russian roulette if you will….but it doesn’t change how much of a schmuck you feel like when you forget your passport and prevent a future bride from her day of dress-shopping bliss.

So, for all those people who say “who cares”, I guess, selfish or not, I still do. I think I would still recommend looking out for others, because frankly, when you’re old and grey, you are going to need those others to look out for you.

Karma is a bitch, and I for one do not want to come back a cockroach…though as I heard the other day that only twinkies and cockroaches can survive a nuclear disaster, so maybe it’s not all bad. We are human, we screw up, so maybe a cockroach I’ll be.

Mess with KARMA and you end up with A MARK on your soul…

The Ginga Ninja