Tag Archives: Carrie Diaries

Fears on my Pillow


11939673_508650149289788_540609435_nThere’s a lot of fear in letting yourself go. Well, in whatever. Go headfirst into a school, country, career and most importantly love. You know, it’s easy to fall in love, not as easy to stay in it. So, let’s hope you break your ankle, because then you can’t get up (get it – because you have fallen? Hardy har har)

Anytime you find yourself in a meaningful relationship, you realize how quickly you dissolve into the other person. You have to start to give up your alone time, plans with friends and family and make the hard choices of where to be on the weekend, when to push for equal rights, when to back off for individualism. How to handle the I’m sorries as easily as the I love you’s and how to vehementaly watch the back of another, while still trying to watch your own. It’s a precious little balancing act, some that only few get right, and sometimes only right for awhile.

Maybe even harder is when you do think you have it all together, that right person, that ying to your yang, that white picket fence, is the eventual evolution of giving up your things, your space, your identity, yourself. Everybody says you won’t, and you can’t even be fully with somebody unless you know your boundaries, but you do, there is no ifs ands or buts around it, and if you want a future, you begin to let go of the past. And this my friend, is probably the scariest feeling of all. Letting yourself go, in trust, in faith, in paperwork, in finances, in asylums to another – it’s easy to second guess and it’s extremely easy to falter, but eventually you need to move forward.

Before long you dissolve into the relationship. First you give up your place, then you give up your taste. Compromising on furniture, clothes, where you eat and then one day you are just an appendage to someone else – no thoughts or no life of your own. I feel like without a space that’s just mine, I’ll disappear. – Larissa, the Carrie Diaries

The Ginga Ninja

Learn from your Success, Live for your Failure


Fail BetterTry, try and try again. That’s what they say, right? Get back up on that horse. Climb every mountain? But, seriously when is enough, enough.

Well, in dating, at least casual dating… it doesn’t take much. One unanswered text can equal the end of something new and promising. And why? Well, because somebody hotter or funnier messaged or maybe a drink or two led to an inevitable makeout at the bar. Hell, maybe it was as simple as a bad day at work or the dislike of parking garages. We all want something until the moment it is inconvenient to us. Inconvenience is inconvenient, to put it in the simplest of terms. Maybe I can get even simpler – a pain in the arse.

But, when you think back to a lot of good things in your life, weren’t some of the most memorable ones awfully inconvenient? Your condo taking three times as long as it should, chipping away at a person to finally gain a friend, or maybe even continuing to ask the elusive one who rejected you out. I always wondered what those people must feel. How do they not get down? How do they keep getting up in the face of rejection, frustration and adversity to not feel bad about themselves, unworthy, unwanted, unwarranted. Well, the last one doesn’t make sense – but for most of us, pride is a nasty sin.

If something is hard, move on right? Wrong. Sometimes.

Most of the people who have ever become successes in their life failed and failed again. Happily married couples. Multi-millionaires. John Travolta. But, it was the trying again that got them where they were. So, I’ve been encouraged to (and have been trying to) make some mistakes. Honestly, what’s the worst that can happen?

As children we are taught not to talk to strangers, not to run into the street, not to play with fire. But, as we get older, always staying safe can prevent us from experiencing all that life has to offer.  If you never take risks, you don’t really get a chance to live at all. And what’s the fun in that? – The Carrie Diaries

The Ginga Ninja

Screw the Penny, A Nickel for your Thoughts?


canada_5_canadian_cents(nickel)_1981Change.  Is it necessary or is it unavoidable?  How much is too much, and how much does the absence of change negatively affect our lives?  I guess the answer…would depend on who is answering.

If you ask an 18 year old from a small town who is itching to move away and see the world…they will think it is necessary, integral to life and they can’t get that change quick enough.  However, ask somebody who has settled down in that same small town and they will tell you they have everything they ever needed. You know, a little John Cougar Mellencamp lyrics throwback.  Their friends, their memories, their childhood sweethearts, their jobs….they have everything they have ever known within arms reach, so why would they change anything?  If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

I just know a hell of a lot of friends think 2014 is the new “it” year – one has even dubbed it the Year of Change.  If we are all waiting for a change, it must mean something is missing.

I guess how necessary change is depends on the life you have already had and the life you dream of having.  The more you have seen, the more you have done, the more you have tried….well, the more you want to see, the more you want to do, the more you want to try. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword.  Maybe ignorance really is bliss.  Maybe if we reach for the stars we just spend forever trying to get there and never really appreciate the hill we’ve been standing on to reach all along.

I can for one say that though unavoidable, too much change is not good either.  I am one who has seen a lot of it in a short amount of time.  Not completely sure what my life’s calling is, not completely sure who I am to end up with (or inevitably if I am my own happily ever after), or even what city I will eventually call home.  I have always figured that a job, a person, or a town would make me settle down.  That hasn’t happened yet.  But, as somebody who has moved countless times, lived in foreign lands, dated various people and now find myself tackling new relationships and a new job again… really, honestly, finally adjusting to my new norm…..I can say that not enough change makes life stagnant and too much makes it chaotic.

Just like everything in life, I think moderation is key.  Let’s change opinions about change….it isn’t right or wrong, it isn’t good or bad, it isn’t black or white.  It is life-altering, unavoidable and necessary….in small doses.

At some point in time you have to embrace change and move forward to the future. Sometimes change is good. – Carrie Diaries

The Ginga Ninja

images (2)