Category Archives: Kids

Mr. Right Was Always Right Here

Standard

Daddy's Little Girl, Fred Flintstone & PebblesSo, I debated just reblogging last year’s Father’s Day post for anybody who missed it.  Good and bad, right and wrong, I sure do love my Daddy.

But, I stumbled across this great article earlier this week.  It was about a father who wrote a letter to his young daughter.  He wanted her to know that in her future she should have worth, she should have standards and she should be willing to wait for somebody who had been willing to wait for her.  She was more than a toy, she was more than a fling for a boy, she didn’t need to meet Mr. Right, just Mr. Right For Her.

http://mobile.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dads-heartwarming-letter-to-daughter-about-mr-right-gets-internet-love/story-fnet0he2-1226638398797

It got me thinking.  In all of the years I have dated; the ups, the downs, the makeups, the breakups…I don’t really remember my dad ever telling me what I should or should not be doing (at least not in regards to boys).  When he liked a boy, he vocalized that he may be a good husband and if I chose to partner with him, he could be a good match.  But, the important thing here was that he always specified…IF I CHOSE.

He didn’t say much about the boys that were no good for me, he never called anybody a bum, or a good for nothing or an over my dead body….but, he always sat by quietly just waiting to see what I would do and who I would choose.  Sometimes, after the fact he had an opinion or two, but he was very careful not to say anything that would make my mind up for me when I was deep in the heart of it.  When a tough decision came last year over a good guy…he simply told me to do right for me and reinforced that I had to question what could make me feel any less than the best version of myself.

In all of these 31 years, I don’t remember him ever telling me I had to get married, I had to have kids, I had to have a partner, or even that I had to have a concrete life direction.  He has never asked me for grandkids or ever mentioned how much money I’ve wasted despite what I owe him.  He has watched me through many adventures and many changes and each and every time he seems to have a positive outlook on the “rest of my life”, what I deserve and who I will be.  I don’t ever remember him telling me to grow up, to get real, or to lower my expectations.  In many ways my dad has always been my best friend and I don’t think he has ever worried whether I had a man to “take care of me” once he is gone….because I think he raised me well enough to take care of myself.

So, like the father from the letter; I think that my Dad hopes that I meet Mr. Good Enough.  But, let’s be specific here… not Mr. Good Enough to Settle For, but Mr. Good Enough for Me.

 …But Whatever Road You Choose, I’m Right Behind You Win Or Lose. – Rod Stewart

The Ginga Ninja

Advertisements

Life is the Messy Bits

Standard

redhead family

This past weekend was Family Day weekend.  That actually makes no sense, as Family Day is a day and I just referenced it as a weekend…however, we had the Monday off as it was Family Day.  In essence, this created a long weekend.  Phew, thank god I clarified that.

I, for one, actually spent the entire weekend with my actual family.  The whole lot of them.  A night with my brother, his kids, my other brother and his common-law lady, both their dogs and two cats.  I then proceeded to drive another 2 hours to visit my parents and third brother’s homes.  I saw my mom, my dad, my brother’s new wife, his kids, his step-kids, his ex-wife, her boyfriend, three dogs and even my new sister-in-law’s father and step-mother. Finally, I finished the night off texting with good friends and cuddling with my cats.

Family is a big, messy, complication nowadays.  There is rarely such a thing as the nuclear family and there are few expectations of happily ever after.  Hell, I have friends who only went to see other friends and probably count them closer to family then they do their own siblings.  Like Modern Family, there is no one way to have a family now.  Like The New Normal, there is no normal anymore.

I know for me – well, my sister-in-law, my common-law sister-in-law, my new sister-in-law and even my ex-sister-in-law are all important people in my life.  The ex is the closest thing that I’ve ever had to a sister and in a weird way her boyfriend is like my brother-in-law.  And the new additions to my brother’s family?  Well, those would now be my niece and nephew.

There is no wrong way to have a family.  At least not in my books.  So, go out and appreciate yours, whatever version that may be.  Don’t feel guilty for enjoying time with them and don’t feel guilty for not enjoying time with them…just remember there is no real expectation anymore and you shouldn’t feel bad for who you love…or are forced to tolerate.

So, embarassingly enough, like Erma Bombeck says,  “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”

The Ginga Ninja

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?

Standard

I remember watching an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie discusses the things that change when you have kids.  Is there really a divide between the childless and those with children?

Just the other day I mentioned to my mom, “I know I’m not married and I know I don’t have kids, so I know I don’t count”, because the moment grandkids came into the picture, the singles lost their say.

But, are there things that we without children find funny that a parent would gasp in horror and shock about?  Probably.  But, I still find them funny.  I hope that when my turn comes, I still will.

Being a parent shouldn’t mean you lose your sense of humour; hopefully you gain it to be honest.  The reason I say this is because the things that parents must endure – temper tantrums, poo disasters, spit-up, vomit, broken limbs, and the most outrageous things coming out of a four-year old’s mouth can only make them laugh.  If it didn’t make them laugh, it would make them crazy…and nowadays there is only so much room at the funny farm.

Maybe the humour was lost on all but us two single gals when our friends new baby had a cut on his hand and when asked why I sarcastically answered, “He’s cutting.  He’s really depressed about all of his indigestion” (in all fairness he really did do it to himself with his very long nails), or my girlfriend expressed her disappointment in his bulimia problem when he spit more out than he kept in, but c’mon…those things should be a little funny whether single, married, with children, or not…right?

Anyways, is there a divide in how you feel when you have kids and when you don’t…or is it really about the individual and how they handle those little bundles of disast…joy and whether they can love their single friends despite their ridiculously inappropriate funny bones.  I mean, we’ll have our time too…and then they can exact their revenge.

“Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed.” ~ Eat Pray Love

The Ginga Ninja