Category Archives: 20 somethings

Allergic to Life

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I’m sitting here sniffling. Well sniffling and snotting and sweating and itching and spitting up things I shouldn’t. Kleenex ain’t got nothing on me brother. Sounds like a head cold right? Holy hell no!

The bullshit of life is us pale, freckly, pigment-limited folk are basically allergic to life. I know there are terms for it now – mass cell disorder, pregnenolone deficient, histamine intolerant, genetic inflammatory condition cursed, but whatever you want to call it…it sucks.

Basically too much dust, dander, sun, food, alcohol, seasonal temperature or foliage shifts = itchy, red, stuffy, sore, insomniac days. Ya, it’s bullshit I tell ya. Benadryl is my best friend and explanations to people get fewer and farther between as my fucks given are less and less.

“Well my dear it’s not a real anaphylactic allergy,  but basically too much stimuli makes your system react the same way.” Gee thanks Mother Nature. Or my Maker. Let’s meet. It’s hard to admit, but basically the gist is I’m allergic to life.

And sadly (for them) more and more people around me are starting to see similar trends as they age. Maybe this makes me lucky as I navigated the trials a decade or so ago, and have worked out a daily coping strategy, but screw you Batman – I spent my teens and twenties having no damn idea why I was sick all the time. I was a relatively-healthy drinking, eating, adjusted athlete who just seemed to be damned. Those gingers I tell ya. 

However, misery loves company, so not so sadly (for me), the rest of my generation, guys and girls alike, seem to be catching up. My bf has mystery redness, my boss has pressure-induced stiff neck, her boss is stuffed and calamined, my sister-in-law’s sister-in-law had an unknown attack and here I am counselling and educating those poor unfortunate souls (cue evil Ursula laugh). And handing out migraine and allergy pills like they are candy. It’s not really good or bad, but it’s life. And you know what? I’m still standing. Maybe not pointing and laughing, but certainly thinking that maybe something good came out of all of this lifelong cursed crap. Maybe stretch marks from pregnancy won’t be my undoing, maybe navigating how to work alongside migraines and nerve damage won’t devastatingly derail my career, or even learning how to eat at restaurants and home without totally offending the cook...maybe that’s my silver lining, maybe that’s my happy place, or more appropriately, maybe that’s my ginger lining in life.

“You know, I’m still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid. And I’m still standing after all this time. I’m still standing….”  – Elton John

The Ginga Ninja

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The Curse of the Dreamer

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Take a deep breath and don’t panic my girl
There is little to control in this crazy old world
You think and you plan and envision all day
You make up scenarios where it does go your way
(What is your way?)
(What would you say?)                                                                                                                                                     What could truly ever make it your day?                                                                                                                                   If you could even get it, what would it be
Would it be freedom, stability, kids or just we
Do you want a house, a pool, a dog and a cat
Or maybe a jet, a whiskey and designer brimmed hat
What really matters, money and cars
Or loved ones, liked ones and those far away stars
Is there a right and a wrong to your entire life
A definitive moment, pure man and wife
Do your actions always determine your end                                                                                                                             Or in your own story, can you be villain and friend                                                                                                               Inherently evil, deliriously mad, endearingly simple, to the bone just plain bad
Are these all just faces, all feelings we show
What’s the real outcome, what’s the real low
Everybody can say it, anybody can think                                                                                                                                   I should be writing my plan on the edge of this brink
(But what if I sink?)
(What if I blink?)
What if I yawn and my breath, it might stink?
So you dreamers go lie awake late at night
Try not to think, try not to fright
Life it is scary, life it is hard
It can also be wondrous if you play the right card
The deck it is big and so hard to predict                                                                   There are times you’re winning and times kid, you’re licked
But try as you might to stay out of your mind                                                           Try your best to be honest, your best to be kind                                                       Know you will fail and that it’s okay                                                                           Just try to remember, start again the next day
Because sometimes you fall and sometimes you win                                       That’s the game of life and it wears you quite thin
It plays with your mind and tricks your own head                                           Where maybe some days you won’t leave your own bed
But keep on believing and doubting and breathing                                                                                                       Because when it’s all over, we are all still just leaving.

 

The Ginga Ninja

Is Beauty Perfection, or just Definition…

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Do you ever feel imperfect?  Your abs are a keg, your hair is a cyclone, and your skin looks like a connect the dots? Trust, me, you aren’t alone.  Even those paid to be perfect are imperfect – the forced weight loss, cosmetic surgery, and botched liposuction are proof of this. Mickey Rourke is unrecognizable, Tara Reid’s stomach is from a horror movie, and even Kathy Ireland is now sporting a bonafide gut.

This is a flashback to that moment 8 years ago when I was the skinniest of my adult life, had perky boobs, silky hair and didn’t realize that the freckly girl I saw in the mirror may not actually be who still stared back…I want to say thank you to my old co-worker who got me drunk  and said, “are you blind, you are HOT”.

So for all those times you feel imperfect, remember you are unbelieveably, unremarkably not uniqBeauty-is-in-the-eye-of-the-beholder-and-it-may-be-necessary-from-time-to-time-to-give-a-stupid-or-misinformed-beholder-a-black-eye.ue in this. You are far less unspecial then you make yourself out to be, in fact, you are just like everybody else. Maybe some hide it better, maybe some days are worse, but nobody is perfect…perfectly flawed perhaps.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, sometimes the beholder just isn’t you…and thank god for that.

Am I faithful, am I strong, am I good enough to belong? In your reverie of a perfect girl? – Sarah MacLachlan

The Ginga Ninja

Cyclical Life…

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Hmmm. The wheels in this head have been turning (a dangerous pastime I know). God, I hope somebody out therethe_red_bicycle picked up the Beauty & the Beast reference. Anyway, it’s kind of strange how many things in life are cyclical in nature – the seasons, our social lives, aging, and well…sadly, breakups too.

It’s always been amazing to me how I can feel soooo strange when the seasons change, kind of like a stranger in my own surroundings. I always feel like something is incomplete, something is still coming and there is something whistful and bittersweet about another year that comes and goes, ebbs and flows. BUT, I realize (in reminiscing by reading my old creepy journals), I feel like this every single year. Oh damn, so not even original in my very own life.

I need to remind myself that this weird, thoughtful, almost unexplainable feeling…has happened before and it will happen again. And for anybody joining this conversation late, I just defined the meaning of cyclical.

And ya know what? Feeling the passing of the seasons over and over again isn’t the only thing that reoccurs. I have clued in to the fact that when you are a child you have organization, rules and timelines. You wake up early, go to school, do your homework, go to bed. Life can be fun, but super routine.

As you get older and you start to make friends, you go to their houses, watch movies, get takeout and eventually start throwing raging house parties (or at least pretend to unless you are blessed to be a popular kid). A few years later you try out pubs, bars, expensive restaurants, musicals, brunches and even trendy clubs. Now you know you have made it…THIS is the cool version of life you couldn’t wait to fast-forward to when you bored and sitting in your parents’ basement. Finally kid, you can say you made it.

However….a few years go by and you begin to watch your debt grow as you accumulate assets and realize that you appreciate your friends more than strangers, some good music more than a cramped bar and hanging around in your sweatpa blue jeans more than stilettos. You can afford nice groceries and have learned to cook, preserve, bottle, marinate, ferment, so what surfaces once again? Movies, pre-drinking and houseparties: The Sequel.

Sadly enough, many may even bypass this version of life and go straight to married with a mortgage and (gasp), children. These people then return right back to waking up early, going to work, helping your kids with their homework, and going to bed….

So, this thoughtful red lass can’t help but notice, for all of those out there constantly trying to reach that next goal, benchmark, stone, phase, manic breakdown…remember…well, everything that goes will come again and every feeling you overcome will be back. There is no such thing as perfect and there is no such thing as complete, so I’ll leave you with this deep thought:

Man appears for a little while to laugh and weep, to work and play, and then to go to make room for those who shall follow him in the never-ending cycle. – Aiden Wilson Tozer

….And this funny one:

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…and you finish off as an orgasm.” – George Carlin

That’s the thing about this bicycle we call life; it’s not that easy to get off.

The Ginga Ninja

 

Fist Pump Forever

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breakfastclub-benderWhen is the last time you had a night where you just talked and gossiped and laughed and bellowed?  Me?  A little while.  It’s not to say they don’t happen, but it seems as you get older, the opportunity to just hang with a friend, watch a movie, drink some wine and have no consequence seems to fade away.  We all have our own lives, too many plans and find ourselves preoccupied with well, preoccupations.

I for one love stupid movies.  I love stupid, funny movies where you need to pay close attention to see what is really going on.  I’m afraid recently that I almost missed the plot while oh-so-religiously checking my iphone to see if I was indeed invited to an oh-so-important bachelorette party.  However, my friend, well she kept catching the things I didn’t.  I realized that I needed to put down that phone and pay attention to this movie, because dammit, it was funny and I was missing it.  It was my life and I was missing it. Once I stopped and decided to focus on only one thing I realized how great the simple things can be.

For anybody who has seen “Pitch Perfect”, it’s an absolutely, horrifically, amazing movie.  It is purposely terrible and the plot is intentionallyvhs_red_571 ridiculous.  It can go up there with “Best in Show”, “Bring it On”, “Dodgeball” and “Scary Movie”.  But, just like those movies – you need to actually listen and actually watch to see all the nuances and underlying jokes and let me tell you…it’s been awhile since I’ve laughed, rewinded, and said “Did they really just say that?” so often with a friend.

We don’t get enough of these moments as we get older.  I know that ten years ago they were endless.  Ten years ago with roommates, hangovers, and procrastination…my ability to watch pointless movies and laugh…and cry…were daily.  The world seemed so big and the future so bright.  But, now?  Well, I don’t get them as often as I should, but the odd time I do…I think they mean that much more.

So, take a moment.  Watch a ridiculously awful, but ultimately wonderful movie.  Watch it with a friend.  Watch it and rewind. Watch it and laugh.  Watch it and cry.  Watch it open to falling in love with the worst leading man ever.  Watch it with the hopeful wide eyes of a girl who 10 years ago thought that those cheesy movie plot lines really could happen.  That the feelings in a John Hughes movie were real and that somewhere out there, whether it be family, friend, or more is a person who will pump their fist for you and sing “Don’t you Forget About Me”.  It may not be the world I live in now, but sometimes, just sometimes, it’s the world I want to live in always.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller

The Ginga Ninja

They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?

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I remember watching an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie discusses the things that change when you have kids.  Is there really a divide between the childless and those with children?

Just the other day I mentioned to my mom, “I know I’m not married and I know I don’t have kids, so I know I don’t count”, because the moment grandkids came into the picture, the singles lost their say.

But, are there things that we without children find funny that a parent would gasp in horror and shock about?  Probably.  But, I still find them funny.  I hope that when my turn comes, I still will.

Being a parent shouldn’t mean you lose your sense of humour; hopefully you gain it to be honest.  The reason I say this is because the things that parents must endure – temper tantrums, poo disasters, spit-up, vomit, broken limbs, and the most outrageous things coming out of a four-year old’s mouth can only make them laugh.  If it didn’t make them laugh, it would make them crazy…and nowadays there is only so much room at the funny farm.

Maybe the humour was lost on all but us two single gals when our friends new baby had a cut on his hand and when asked why I sarcastically answered, “He’s cutting.  He’s really depressed about all of his indigestion” (in all fairness he really did do it to himself with his very long nails), or my girlfriend expressed her disappointment in his bulimia problem when he spit more out than he kept in, but c’mon…those things should be a little funny whether single, married, with children, or not…right?

Anyways, is there a divide in how you feel when you have kids and when you don’t…or is it really about the individual and how they handle those little bundles of disast…joy and whether they can love their single friends despite their ridiculously inappropriate funny bones.  I mean, we’ll have our time too…and then they can exact their revenge.

“Having a child is liking getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed.” ~ Eat Pray Love

The Ginga Ninja

 

You Should Really Get That Checked Out…

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I’ve got a bad case of Shoulditis.  Correction, I think I had a bad case of Shoulditis that was in remission and has since reared its ugly head once again.  Nearly 90% of cases have been found to result in severe and sometimes fatal damage to one’s inborn potential, ultimately leading to the slow and silent death of, well, the soul.

http://blog.brazencareerist.com/2011/12/01/warning-1-in-3-young-professionals-suffers-from-this-career-related-condition/

I am mainly joking, but not entirely.  I too (who knew) was victim to this terrible condition in my mid 20’s.  I walked around feeling like I should be more successful, I should feel better, I should make more money, I should grow up, and I should be in a different stage of life.  Then I fought, I fought oh so hard to treat it, overcome it, and come out a better person.  A person who took risks out of joy, not fear, a person who stopped worrying about how much money they made or what their future and career held.  A person who could focus on the present, not the past, and more importantly not the future.

That’s the funny thing about Shoulditis.  It surfaces when you least expect it.  When you reinvent your life, it’s amazing how much you slowly start to say you should be over it, you should feel the way you did a year ago, and you should have your act together.  That’s the funny thing about life.  Maybe we can forgive others for living that crazy thing called L..I..F..E, but us over-achieving, second-guessing, comparers can’t forgive ourselves.

Here I thought that Shoulditis went away when you turned 30, lived common-law, travelled the world, or took a step backwards in your career and said “fuck it, I’m imperfect”.  I so foolishly believed that Shoulditis disappeared when you decided you loved yourself enough to be yourself.  But, if you change enough and doubt enough… funnily enough it comes right back.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda…that’s what life is all about right?  Well, that and assuming that there is always tomorrow.

Don’t stress over what could’ve been.  Chances are if it should’ve been, it would’ve been. – Anonymous

The Ginga Ninja

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