Needy or Not, it’s what you Need

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What is needy?

There are people out there who are introverts. Straight up, simple and true, introverts. They don’t need others, they don’t need validation, they don’t need understanding, they don’t need connection. Hate to admit it, I ain’t one of em. I need people every now and again and I need validation more than I would like.

As I say this, there were always loners, hermits, the town loon (whatever term floats your boat), however they were often left to be on the far side of the ravine to chop their wood, smoke their pipes and read their books in peace. Sure, maybe a whisper, a point or two and a bag of flaming dog crap landed on their door, but the comparisons, competitions, challenges and frankly resources weren’t there. Nowadays, our introverts get labeled another way. We have bigger towns, more insight, virtual lives, Candy Crush, Clash of Clans, Netflix, Shomi and PVR coming out the ass. Alone we are never really alone, are we?

I have discovered I’m a happy little medium of introvert and extrovert, landed somewhere between needing nights in to watch silly movies, take baths and listen to music…as much as wanting to go out and drink, gab, gossip and gape. There has to be a middle ground in there somewhere. Moderate is my middle name.

The thing is, when I’m alone, I’m almost never really alone. I have my computer, my newstream, my newfound instragram followers and most importantly my phone nearby. The nights I have no contact it feels like an eternity and the nights that I don’t feel love, a lifetime.

It’s funny, if a lonely girl wants to hear from you, it’s needy, but if a boy expresses jealousy, inquiry, insecurity or neediness…it’s oddly endearing. Deep down isn’t that what every girl wants? I have had drunk texts, dick pics, people who wouldn’t stop messaging to take a nap and somebody who once an hour needed confirmation that I indeed loved him and he was what I wanted, he was my future. You know what, all of these people, these people who incessantly texted, brought up the future too early, brought up sex too often, all these people who could overwhelm or even jeezes, scare me…filed me at one point or another in the insecure girl category because I asked for an explanation.

An apology, a conversation, a confirmation, an acknowledgement, the desire to say goodnight, an attempt to wake them…these things eventually put girls into the needy, crazy, clingy or desperate category. The unfair part is most girls I know have done nothing anywhere near as out there as guys I know – no hail mary angry emails, no justified need to know what really happened phone calls, no fists through walls, no storming in jealous after the cable guy stayed a little too long rants…but yet, every misstep, every unanswered text, every rejected advance, every notch in their belt seems like one more little strike against their unmarred character and judgement. If a girl shows emotion, better get the valium. A guy, better mark the history books.

The thing is, everybody can be needy and everybody can be insecure, it’s just a matter of understanding that deep down, waayyy deep down…you can do anything you want to because frankly, needy or not, it’s what you need.

The Ginga Ninja

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