Have you ever been called shallow? It’s a term I haven’t received a ton in my life, but recently…well, not too long ago, I was picky. My version of hot and somebody else’s version of hot don’t always align even on the best of days, but for a few months there they definitely did not. I can pick out my friend’s types based on looks and interests and I hope they could do the same for me. But, is it fair to say that there should be equal parts attraction and compatibility?
You can be incredibly attracted to somebody and they can be a wrong match. I’ve been there, I’ve done that and I’ve spent years with them. You can also become very attracted to somebody based on their personality. When you are really hitting it off, you can’t keep your eyes off of them….but, when their unreliable true colours come out…well, suddenly not so hot anymore.
So, in this world of online dating where it’s like shopping in a catalogue – is choosing to speak to somebody that seems cute AND interesting a crime? The world works different in reality. You meet somebody and you have a spark. You don’t always pick it, it isn’t necessarily because of looks and you can’t really choose what their career will be. I’ve been attracted to still-students and people the same height as me; co-workers, neighbours and even a former boss. Sometimes the guy you hate later becomes your boyfriend (cue 15 year old me) and somebody who was the hottest thing since sliced bread in University gradually becomes repulsive to you (cue 21 year old me). But, what happens when dating is now like flipping through a magazine…does being picky make you shallow?
I don’t know. I know that if I stumbled across somebody and things happened naturally it’s a whole new ballgame. But I’m back in the field and just seem to keep getting grounders. I’ll be the first to admit that looks aren’t everything, but my god, they are something.
“There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you are insightful about it.” – Dennis Miller
The Ginga Ninja