But, I stumbled across this great article earlier this week. It was about a father who wrote a letter to his young daughter. He wanted her to know that in her future she should have worth, she should have standards and she should be willing to wait for somebody who had been willing to wait for her. She was more than a toy, she was more than a fling for a boy, she didn’t need to meet Mr. Right, just Mr. Right For Her.
It got me thinking. In all of the years I have dated; the ups, the downs, the makeups, the breakups…I don’t really remember my dad ever telling me what I should or should not be doing (at least not in regards to boys). When he liked a boy, he vocalized that he may be a good husband and if I chose to partner with him, he could be a good match. But, the important thing here was that he always specified…IF I CHOSE.
He didn’t say much about the boys that were no good for me, he never called anybody a bum, or a good for nothing or an over my dead body….but, he always sat by quietly just waiting to see what I would do and who I would choose. Sometimes, after the fact he had an opinion or two, but he was very careful not to say anything that would make my mind up for me when I was deep in the heart of it. When a tough decision came last year over a good guy…he simply told me to do right for me and reinforced that I had to question what could make me feel any less than the best version of myself.
In all of these 31 years, I don’t remember him ever telling me I had to get married, I had to have kids, I had to have a partner, or even that I had to have a concrete life direction. He has never asked me for grandkids or ever mentioned how much money I’ve wasted despite what I owe him. He has watched me through many adventures and many changes and each and every time he seems to have a positive outlook on the “rest of my life”, what I deserve and who I will be. I don’t ever remember him telling me to grow up, to get real, or to lower my expectations. In many ways my dad has always been my best friend and I don’t think he has ever worried whether I had a man to “take care of me” once he is gone….because I think he raised me well enough to take care of myself.
So, like the father from the letter; I think that my Dad hopes that I meet Mr. Good Enough. But, let’s be specific here… not Mr. Good Enough to Settle For, but Mr. Good Enough for Me.
…But Whatever Road You Choose, I’m Right Behind You Win Or Lose. – Rod Stewart
The Ginga Ninja