It Feels Like it Ended Before it Even Began

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Pinup Girls, sad redheadHow can you miss something you never really had?  Whether it be a car, a job, a guy, a child, a house…how can you feel a sense of loss over something that was never even yours? It’s funny, I think we surprise ourselves sometimes.  Life is not black and white, so neither are our thoughts, our feelings, or our decisions.

It doesn’t seem to matter how on top of things you are, how many wonderful blessings and people are in your life – the moment something that you thought was almost yours is unattainable…you actually grieve that loss.  It’s silly, how can you grieve something that didn’t exist…or at least didn’t exist to you?

I guess it’s because we build these little goals and visions.  We make decisions in our head and then have to try to attain them in reality.  We envision hopes, dreams, futures and loves, but when reality doesn’t line up with our daydreams…sometimes we can actually feel, well, a bit….sad.  Whenever something ends, there is hopefully a new beginning, but there is also a period where we must learn to let go – not of just what we actually lost, but what we imagined we would gain.  You are learning to let go of those hopes, dreams and visions – in essence, the life you thought you were going to have.

So, my advice is to begin every day as though it’s a new day.  With every new day, try to remind yourself that your life is your new normal, each and every day.  It doesn’t matter what was, or what might’ve been…all that matters is…what IS.

I realize it’s ironic that it’s me giving this message.  But, do as I say, not as I do.

Every day is a new beginning.

The Ginga Ninja

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One response »

  1. Reblogged this on padeppe's Blog and commented:
    I am motherless when comes to children and I know the feelings well. When I was first pregnant they told me it was in the tube. After the surgery they told me I could never have a child.

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