Caught in a Life Triangle

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redhead, love triangle, archieHow many times has broken telephone stepped in to complicate your life?  He said that she said that her sister’s mother’s friend’s babysitter’s cat saw you talking to your neighbour’s teacher’s principle’s daughter and heard that you said…..And then somehow gossip starts, accusations fly and you are caught in the middle of a crossfire of words.  Every innocent thing you said or open-minded thought you had gets twisted and you are meant to defend your opinion, or worse yet, defend your defense of a situation, conversation, or person.  I guess they say Defense is the best Offence. I don’t think they have a clue.

I try really hard to play devil’s advocate when I can.  Everybody has a side, a heart, a story and a point of view.  Every single situation needs a grain of salt to measure it.  Wouldn’t I love to be an ant on the wall when things went down in the first place – sure, but history, hurt feelings and ultimately egos get involved and suddenly you are caught in a triangle.  Whether with an old friend, an arch nemesis, a new romance, or a family member…when your name gets pulled into something, there is nowhere to run from the war of words.

Now, don’t even get me started on Love Triangles.  Most people have never successfully avoided them – no matter how minor.  Somebody’s boyfriend flirts with their friend, somebody lies, somebody hides, somebody cowers and somebody yearns. Without them we would’t have such wonderful films as Something Borrowed, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Made of Honor, Bridget Jones Diary...or an actual good movie, Legends of the Fall.  I seem to somehow be that girl that attracts boys in almost-dead relationships.  I don’t step outside of the lines once I’m aware of what’s going on, but either I have “she’s a friendly soul, bare your heart to her” or “good in bed” stamped on my forehead, because let me tell you… I attract em like flies.  And if I’m completely honest, I’ve had a friends’ ex or two come to me after the fact to say they always liked me and were too scared to admit it.  Thankfully I have the good sense to say no thank you kind sir, but often the mere fact that it came out causes a new and awful moral dilemma. To tell or not to tell?  And all these things? Frankly, make me feel sick.

I don’t like drama, I don’t like having to defend myself, my actions, or my beliefs and I definitely don’t like the awkward position that two people’s history can put other people in.  My advice?  Don’t be a devil’s advocate in a world full of individual lives – people look out for themselves and not all people like looking at all sides.  One side suits them just fine.  But, being too passionate about any one topic will see you get in almost as much trouble; maybe you just feel more passionate about that wall you are leaning on.  I guess the only way to avoid this is to avoid people, avoid feelings, avoid circumstance, avoid speaking and become a fingerless mute who can neither say, (nor text) anything that could ever get them in trouble. I’ll work on that because no matter who is right and who is wrong…there are usually shades of grey somewhere in there between those solid colours of black and white.

The funny part of this is while I’m writing this post; I’m watching the all-time classic movie Grease and sitting riveted as all those triangles unfold.  If only Danny admitted to the guys he cared about the girl and didn’t “summer love” her on the beach…all would have been fine.  He wouldn’t act non-nonchalant in front of her at the bonfire, she wouldn’t date the dumb jock, he wouldn’t join the track team, Cha Cha wouldn’t be a problem and don’t even get me started on Kenickie and Rizzo.  But, then again…had all these triangles and misinterpreted events NOT occurred, there would be no plot.  No Summer Lovin, no scenes under the stars, we wouldn’t learn the hand jive and we definitely would never get the dictionary updated with “shoo bop shoo wada wada yippity boom da boom”.

So.  Did I just teach myself a lesson?  Each time life hands you lemons, grab the tequila, because goddammit, alcohol helps you through drama. Oops, wait, that’s another lesson.

There is no avoidance of being involved from time to time in petty misunderstandings and relationships woes.  Want to know why?  Because then you would be perfect.  And I don’t know about you my friend, but I’m only perfectly flawed.

Gossip is the Devil’s Radio – George Harrison

The Ginga Ninja

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