So, for anybody who has ever heard Blue Rodeo’s Till I am Myself Again, I guess there is truth in this title because after having gone through a major change they will yearn to (for lack of any better way to restate it) feel like themself again. You just want to wake up one day and feel like the person you used to be, because sometimes, you just aren’t entirely sure where they went or why they even left.
“I want to know where my confidence went, one day it all disappeared…daytime’s a drag, nightime’s worse…I feel like a stranger from another world, but at least I am living again. I don’t need a doctor to figure it out, I know what’s passing me by, when I look in the mirror sometimes I see traces of some other guy”….
I think this reigns true for most, minus of course that you don’t always have to be a guy to understand this feeling, but let’s face it – girl just wouldn’t rhyme…(tee hee). Either way, I think this is our very basic human flaw, but sometimes, just sometimes you have a moment where without meaning to, or even knowing when it changed…things just start feeling normal for you again.
For me, I guess this was the moment that I was out doing errands, watching storm clouds roll in and couldn’t wait to get home and crank up the tunes, unpack my groceries, dance around my apartment, and wait for the sky to explode. I can’t explain it, but it’s a feeling I have felt so many times in my life…the race to beat it, the thrill of running through the pouring rain, the safety of your inviting place and then the anticipation of hearing the thunder roll and watching the torrential downpour begin. The moment I feel this way, I know I’m getting back to me.
They say there is something cleansing about the rain. It’s why people sing in it, dance in it, cry in it, and in Hollywood…well, anything goes. Nobody can forget the rain scene in The Notebook, Shawshank Redemption, Singing in the Rain, or that kiss in Spiderman…now if only real life emulated the movies our lives would all be a little bit better. But, I think the rain does for a fleeting moment in time give us this freedom. I for one love a good storm. It gives you a reason to cuddle, to watch, to listen, to cry, and to contemplate. There is no wrong way to watch a storm. As a child I sat out on my front porch with my parents for every major downpour and a small piece of me will forever associate the rain to feeling young at heart and truly free. Afterall…after the storm comes the calm.
So, to keep the clichés coming, in every life a little rain must fall and when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down…because without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
The Ginga Ninja