A Brave New World

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So, the question is…what 30 year old woman gives up a good guy and chooses to be SINGLE?  Egad. Say it ain’t so.  Today’s society (no matter how hard we try) still shuns a single woman over the age of 29.  Who cares if she is divorced by 31, so long as she has snuck that first wedding in , thank god.

Kidding. Well…sort of.

But, what is the definition of Single?  Is it somebody who has never been married, has never had a serious relationship, has never dated, only casually dates, or somebody who has been divorced or even widowed? In a way, I suppose it’s all of the above.  One thing is for sure though, single men are eligible bachelors, and well, single women…..spend their life looking for Mr. Right, or even in the interim, Mr. Right Now.

It is actually so much easier to be a single woman today than ever before as far as the stigma is concerned, but sometimes I think those Victorian women had it the best.  Never had to work, sat around and did needlepoint all day with servants, had people hold doors and throw coats over puddles…and with corsets you never really needed to worry about your figure because it did it for you!  Holy Bosoms batman.  If you are lucky enough to catch a fella’s eye, he’ll take care of you…and if you aren’t…well, then your daddy will.

Today’s women are expected to be educated, employed , financially stable, smart, respectful, sexy….and not to mention possibly eventual mothers.  But, with most of us in schools until our mid-20’s, knee-deep in debt, how can we be ready to settle down by the age of 30, or crazier still, have our careers, relationships, and possibly even a baby popped out by that age!  Thankfully 30 is the new 20….or so I’ve heard.  That decade from 30 – 40 where you are supposed to have it all figured out sure is a bitch.  Damn that biological clock.

Anyways, I have married friends, common-low friends, divorced friends, and even those still looking for that first love.   And ladies, though this is for you, I do have friends in the Lonely Men’s Club too.  Today there really is no true right or wrong, but you can be damn sure for all those empowered women out there, 50% of them are as scared as I am right now and simply putting up a good front.

If you happen to come across a single gal….give her a pat on the back, congratulate her for all she has accomplished thus far, and tell her that the world really is her oyster….or at least her shell.  She could use the encouragement, because behind that big smile, those flirty eyes, that devil may care attitude and insistence she is going to make it on her own…is a little girl who once upon a time imagined that the idea of “once upon a time” really existed…that life really was like a Romantic Comedy, that Prince Charming was really coming, and that you really could do it all.  She’s okay, she’s doing alright and frankly, just getting by in this crazy world.

It’s time to embrace being single. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City, I’m not fabulous (though pretty darn cute and not bad in the kitchen if I do say so myself).  But, I’m not saying Single and Fabulous.  I’m saying Single and Surviving.

  “Don’t worry about Life, you’re not going to survive it anyway.”

The Ginga Ninja

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